An Overwhelming Love
by Clover64
Summary: It is just after the victory at the star forge and Carth and Revan finally have time to spend together...or do they? It seems time and fate is constantly against them. Will Revan be able to cope with all the facts and problems?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first KotOR fic so I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Knights of the Old Republic or any of the fictional charcters with the exception of Hayley and her personality. George Lucas is a pure genius...and he owns it all.**

**Chapter 1 **

Carth stood proudly next to her as they both waved and grinned at the massive crowd before them. She looked so happy, so…at peace, since they had destroyed the Star Forge. She stood straight with a smile larger than he had ever seen her with. Her hair was brushed back and wafted gently in the brisk air. She had all the makings of a hero, a savior.

He loved her, so why was he so unhappy. He was finally going to get to spend some time with her, after all this time…just him and her. Yet, he couldn't place it…but something was wrong. Something…that made him uneasy…

"Relax." Hayley's voice jarred him out of his thoughts. "You're making _me_ nervous. What's wrong?"

It was just like Hayley to pick up on his emotions. Sometimes he felt that he shared more of a bond with her than Bastila. On the other hand, considering what they've been through, why shouldn't she be able to tell what he was thinking or feeling when he was thinking or feeling it?

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking." he said pathetically.

"Whenever you say ' oh, it's nothing' it's usually something. So out with it, flyboy."

"Ok…you really want to know?" he tempted.

" I asked didn't I?" she shot back smoothly.

" Oh… I was just thinking of how you would look with the head of a bantha." he said jokingly.

" And…how might that be?" she retorted back.

" Oh…pretty much the same…"

She leaned over and lightly hit him in the shoulder as she started laughing and could barely control her pleasure. He could always get her to forget about what they were doing and lighten the mood.

" Well as fun as that was," she turned to look down at Master Vandar, " We really should start to get going."

The small green creature turned slightly towards Hayley and nodded his permission.

" Ahhhh, as much as I wish you not to, I know your path lies elsewhere. Where are you headed?"

" Well, we all haven't really decided yet. I know that Carth intends to head back to Telos and Juhani…"

Carth stopped really listening after the mention of heading back to Telos. He knew Dustil would be waiting there for him…but was he ready to face the son he hadn't seen for years? And Hayley… what about her? He couldn't just leave her? Not after they had announced their love to one another. She could come with him to Telos! Yes…that was it! But…how could he explain to Dustil that the woman he loved was once the Dark Lord of the Sith?

" I'm headed back to the _Ebon Hawk_ now… to get some rest. It's been a busy day." Hayley said to Jolee who was still standing there and who had, before Carth had tuned out, complaining about ' how old people shouldn't have to stand out in the cold for this long waving to people who they didn't even know' and some other things that he's always complaining about.

" I'll meet you there then, my dear. But first I must consult with Master Vandar about something first." Hayley nodded and turned and started walking back towards the beach where the _Ebon Hawk_ was located. Carth walked quickly to catch up to her and walk beside her.

It was quite between them for the longest time as they walked together to the ship. He knew she was upset that everyone was going to be going their separate ways, including himself and her. He knew she had a dedication to the Order and that proclaiming her love to him had indeed been a violation of the Jedi code. The Masters of the Order do not know of the relationship that the two of them shared, but feared what they would do to Hayley, if they were to find out. He hated the thought of her suffering on his behalf.

" So…you're going back to Telos? It's good that you're going to see your son again. This is your chance to build the relationship you never had the chance to get with him."

Just the tone and the sound of her voice made him feel awful inside. It was stricken with sadness and desperation. A feeling not easily portrayed by the Jedi, especially Hayley.

" Hayley…" he began.

" No…I'm happy for you. I really am. I just want you to know that I'll…well that I'll miss you, Carth Onasi. And that I…" they reached the sanctuary of the _Ebon Hawk_, and Hayley, unable to control her emotions ran inside quickly to her quarters and locked the door.

" I'm going to miss you to, Hayley…I really am…" he said to himself as he headed to the cockpit of the _Ebon Hawk_.

Hayley wedged herself in the small smuggling compartment under her bunk. It was the only place she could think of to be alone...which was exactly what she needed right now. To be alone. And now that she was... the tears came flooding out. Her jedi training should have prepared her for something like this...but it didn't. Nothing in the world could sooth a wounded heart.

It was hot and stuffy in that compartment...but part of her wanted to suffer. Wanted to feel the pain she had seen others endure countless times, while she just stood there comforting and aiding them when she herself had never felt that kind of pain. Enter Carth in the picture. She had never loved anyone before and never had intended to...but Carth just kind of ended up on her list...

(On Taris)

_"I'm all ears, beautiful."_

_"Keep adressing me like that and you'll lose an ear or two."_

_"Oh. He he he...touchy. Well is there something else you'd prefered I'd call you?_

_"No. It's demeaning."_

_"Don't get yourself all up in a twist about it, gorgeous. I didn't mean anything by it."_

_"There you go again!"_

_"Oh...for cryin' out...! Ok, try calling me something if it'll make you feel better. Go on try it."_

_"Don't be ridiculous!"_

_"Hey! C'mon...try it! I promise you won't hurt my feelings."_

_"Pushy thug!"_

_"C'mon, you can think of something better than that!"_

_"Brainless lice-ridden Bantha!"_

_"Wow...that IS better. Now I bet that "beautiful" doesn't sound too bad in comparison, does it?_

_"Ha, ha, ha! You're a pain, ya know that!"_

_"Guilty as charged."_

(present day)

As Hayley dwelled upon the memories of Carth, the tears began to sting her eyes again. She knew he had a responsibility to his son, his _real_ family. She also knew her thoughts of him staying with her were weaved from jealousy and selfishness. After all! She was a jedi, and jedi are supposed to be above thoughts and feelings such as love, sefishness, and jealousy. So why in the world could she not let the subject drop!

Her breath was ragged and her eyes stung...but she continued to remain in the compartment. Did she really think that time would never pass her by if she remained in this damp, hot compartment? Did she think that Carth would stay with her forever? As she continued to think about it and her reasoning became more clear she realized that the reality of her and Carth actually being able to be together was nothing more then a simple...dream. A wish...no, a hope. A hope that everyone would ignore the fact that she was a jedi in love, a jedi that had more to her than responsibility and duty to the Order.

She began to wipe away the tears as a small tapping sound came from the hatch of the compartment. How did anyone know about this place? She never once hinted or even thought about it!

"Hayley? I know you're in there...come out." it was Mission's voice! Hayley should have known better. Mission knows this ship like the back of her hand. If anyone'd know about this place...it'd be her.

The hatch opened and Hayley quickly regained her optimistic countenence. There were no signs once so ever that she had lost control of her emotions.

" Ummm..." she began as she got slowly out of her hiding place," I was just checking the compartment out. Measuring the size of space in it."

"Don't try to lie to me, Hayley. You've been in there for hours. Carth's worried about you. Wanna talk about it? Just me and you here...c'mon, you can tell me." she soothed.

"Hours?" the time had passed by so quickly while she had been in there," There's nothing to tell...I...uh, just went in there to check things out and I had been so tired...ya know the whole"saving the galaxy" routine, that I fell asleep."

" You sure? Cause Carth said that you looked pretty upset when you went to your quarters." she said not at all buying what she was saying.

" He was probably just overexaggerating...you know men."she answered.

"Not the way you seem to..." she mumbled softly but loud enough for Hayley to hear.

" What's THAT suppose to mean!" she said defensivly.

" Oh...calm down. I was just kidding. You know you really should get some sleep. You can't even take a joke anymore." she smiled as she said it.

Hayley relaxed," Sorry...I guess I do need some sleep. It's just...oh nothing. See you in the morning."

With that statement Mission took the hint and left the room. On her way out Carth quickly caught her. His face was marked with worry.

"Don't worry, Carth. She just needs some sleep."she said calmly.

"Uhh...right. I guess I do too. Come to think of it...we all need a vacation." he said sarcastically.

"Yeah...I wish. I'm gonna go check up on Big Z. He's been pretty restless since we got back from the Star Forge. I wouldn't be surprised if all the rations in the storage hold are gone. Y'know Big Z...always hungry. See ya later, Carth."

Carth headed back to the cockpit to try and get some relaxation before he had to face Hayley again. He knew that it would be difficult and he still didn't know quite what to do. Should he go to Telos and see his son? Or...stay here with her.

Carth sighed heavily. If there was one time he needed someone to talk to...it'd have to be now. Suddenly Carth heard approaching footsteps, too heavy to be Hayley's. Jolee entered the room.

" Hello, sonny. Ready to get back on track with your son?"

"Hey, Jolee. Heard you had a talk with the council. How'd it go?" Carth said trying to change the subject.

" Well, that's why I'm here. The council has summoned Hayley. Do you happen to know where she is? The council said it was urgent."

Carth's mask dropped,"Why? I thought they were done with her."

" The council wouldn't give me exact details but they did tell me it's very important." he said noticing the change in Carth's tone.

"She's in her room, sleeping." he said relunctantly.

Jolee nodded and dismissed himself as he left the room. He headed to Hayley's quarters and opened the door. Hayley was no where to be found. He doubted that Carth would lie to him, so that means that Hayley had to have left while no one was looking.

"Kids these days..." he mumbled to himself as went in search of her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is the second chapter...I hope you all like it! Please review! I need all the help I can get! More reviews equal faster updates!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR or anything star wars...George Lucas does.**

**Chapter 2 **

Hayley found herself meditating outside on the beach, close enough to the water that she could feel the gentle refreshingness of it as she tried to center herself. She kept going through recent events in her head...trying to make sense of all of them. Also, while in the compartment she had realized that her attachment to Carth could be lethal to both of them. She was a risk to him. And as long as she stayed with him...he would be forever in danger.

The wind whipped around her softly while playing a gentle lullaby in the leaves of nearby trees. The birds softly chirped adding to the musical tone. Footsteps approached.

" Hello, Jolee. How are you?"

"Hayley, the council has requested an audience with you.They say it is very urgent. You know the council."

" I'll go at once. Tell them I'm on my way."

" Great! So now I'm a messenger boy." he grumbled to himself as he walked off.

Hayley casually got up and found herself face to face with Carth. Man, she must be really tired for her not to sense his presense.

" Hey, Beautiful..."

"Carth, not right now. I have to go see the Jedi Council. Sorry...we can talk later." She turned and walked passed him but he grabbed her and turned her to face him. His hold was gentle but strong.

"Hayley, Jolee told me that you were going to see the council. That's why I'm here. I need to tell you something. More of ask you something. I love you and..."

"Carth, I really can't...I have to..."she pleaded...even though she wanted no more then to tell him that she loved him too, and stay like this forever.

"No. Hear me out. I have been thinking and I've decided that you could come with me to Telos! We could make Dustil understand. I know it will be hard for him but I think he can come to terms with..."

"No."she interrupted simply.

"No? No what?" She could feel his nervousness.

"I...I have to go." He released his grip on her and she walked off to the council.

Every step became harder and harder to take. It was like walking away from something that you want...no _need_ to survive. But she knew that she would have to eventually. Just not so soon.

Hayley walked up the ancient stone steps into the mighty Rakatan Temple. The temple held many memories...

(The top of the Rakatan Temple before the Star forge is destroyed)

_"How could you betray us like this, Bastila?"_

_" I resisted at first. Enduring the tortures with the serenity of a true jedi, emptying my mind. But after a week of endless tortures Malak finally made me acknowledge me pain and anger. It made me even more powerful."_

_"Bastila, you could still return to the light!"_

_"No, Revan. You are nothing but a shell of what you once were. The council did this to you!"_

_" The council gave me a second chance to..."_

_" The council used you like a puppet, as they once did me. They wanted me to bow and call them Master and obey their every wish while the whole time they were exploiting my battle meditation. Malak was wrong, however, it would seem the darkside is not wholly lost to you after all..."_

(present day)

"We have called you here today because we must still prove to the Galaxy that you are no longer Revan, and to also prove to ourselves. The Republic has demanded a debriefing for your entire crew. We have decided to give it to them. I'm sorry but we must make sure that you have surely forsaked the Darkside and are no longer the Dark Lord. You all will be escorted to Coruscant and detained seperately from the rest of your companions."

" This is ridiculous! It isn't enough that you programed me with a new mind, sent me on this mission, made us go on tour,and now you want us to..." She was cut off.

A republic officer walked in with four battle droids accompanying him. He bore many medals on his uniform. No doubt he was of high ranking standards.

" I'm General Rhin. If you refuse to comply with our wishes you will be taken by force."

Hayley was not about to put anyone in any physical danger so she took a deep breath and managed a slow nod. How was she going to explain this to the rest of the crew?

" You will be able to see and explain things to your crew then meet me here at 0800 hours. If you try to run we will fire upon your ship. Understand?

Hayley nodded.

" Good. I will see you then." and with that he turned and left.

_How could they do this to us? After all we've been through! There is no emotion, there is peace._The phrase continued to float around in her head. Right now all she needed, though it was hard for her to admit..._was Carth._

Carth paced nervously up and down in the sand, his footprints reappearing every time he stepped. The rest of the crew also waited outside the temple. Waiting for Hayley...waiting for, whenever it involved the council...bad news.

Juhani quitetly meditated trying to clear her mind...although it did no good. They were keeping her hero inside that damn temple and there wasn't a thing she could do to support her. _Not that a Hero of the Republic could or would even want the help of a Cathar._ That was the darkside talking again. Even through all this Juhani still had her frequent doubts about the jedi and herself. Part of her forgave Bastila when she turned to the darkside because it proved that even the strong can be tempted. The other part of her wanted to kill her for betraying them all.

Mission placed her card down and Zaalbar stood up and shouted an angry roar.

" Hey, I won. Fair is fair. Gimme the rest of those!" she said as she quickly grabbed the bag of food in the middle of the table. "You should have known better, Big Z. I always win! Ha ha ha...I get the food!"

Jolee was patiently sitting at a nearby bench, watching Carth pace up and down. The tension he felt from Carth was still building. _The boy is like a lovesick puppy. I wonder how it's going between those two. Bah...I'm an old man, why do I care! Because I know you should take love where you can get it._ He silently answered his own question.

Canderous was tinkering with his repeating rifle as he too anxiously waited for Hayley to come out of that temple. He let out a small curse as he slamed the rifle's small hatch on his finger. Blood dripped down his finger and onto the ground. The sand absorbed the odd color. _Just like she accepted an old Mandalorian into her life._

The massive doors to the temple opened and she walked out. The color of her face was drained and her smile no where to be found. Her eyes held sympathy and fear. Would the Republic ever accept her as she is now? Carth ran up to her and put his arms around her. She didn't struggle to get free. Quite the opposite, she wanted him never to let go.

" The council...they said...I tried...but they just..." she stuttered.

"Whoa...slow down, beautiful. Tell us slowly what happened." Carth gently stroked her hair in a soothing manner.

" The council...said,well...that we all have to go to...debriefing. Seperately." Hayley was afraid to meet Carth's eyes.

"Debriefing! After all that they made us go through...now this!" Carth's anger showed quite clearly. His hands tensed as he continued to hold her.

"I know...I thought the same thing. But you know the council they..."

"Why?" He said it so simply and with such a touch of bitterness. It almost made Hayley shiver at his tone.

" The Republic don't quite trust me as I...well as I am now. They want to know all the details of what happened with me to prove to the galaxy that Revan, the Dark Lord of the Sith, is truly gone." Her tone held calm and certainty yet her palms were drenched in sweat. " The council has agreed to this...and has orders to put me under house arrest in a facility on Coruscant. You...I mean all the rest of you will be held in other quarters somewhere on..."

"You saved the galaxy and this is how they repay you? They lock you up like some...some sort of..."

" Animal." Juhani sneered.

"Well, they won't take me without a fight, I'll..." Canderous began.

" That's exactly the kind of response the Republic is counting on. Just a chance to kill "the might Lord Revan"! They're counting on resistance from us. An excuse to kill me...and maybe you too, Canderous. I won't let it come to that. We'll go peacefully..."she shot Carth a look that said" That means you don't kill one of them when they go to put 'cuffs on me".

"Don't look at me like that...I'm not gonna do anything stupid." Carth said with a confidence he didn't feel._ I hope._

"OK...then it's settled. We'll show them. They'll expect resistance and when they get none..."

"They'll realize you are who you say you are." Juhani's Cathari accent flavoring her voice.

"Exactly. I have to go back now...I'll see you later."

As she left, she felt the tension increase more then when she had first come out. This was going to be difficult for her crew because she knew they all cared for her very much, would even die for her. This would be the most difficult for Carth. _Carth... I'll make it up to you...somehow..._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Please review...if you like this story! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or anything related.**

**Chapter 3**

Carth stood there and watched the escorts take her away. His hand grazing his blaster's holster occasionally. He tried to be strong, for Hayley's sake, but when they put the stuncuffs on her and she winced in pain, he almost lost it... almost. As he stood next to the others, he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Mission's hand. Even at such a young age, Mission never ceased to amaze him. From surviving the lower city of Taris, to slicing into a computer terminal with ease, or just giving a comforting guesture, Carth could tell she was a very unique and special individual.

"We'll sure show them..." she whispered into his ear.

"I hope so, Mission. I really do." Carth relaxed for a brief moment before returning his attention to the guards who held Hayley.

They were ushering her to another ship nearby. One moment she was there, the next she was gone. Dissappearing into the hull of the small transport vessel. _I feel so...so helpless...again. I will protect you, Hayley. I promise._ His thoughts were interrupted as another group of soldiers escorted them into the _Ebon Hawk_ and then explained to the crew that they were to escort the transport to Coruscant and then transmit their ID signatures to the Docking Bay located in area 77921. From there they were to await further orders upon landing.

"And what of Hayley? Where will she be taken?" Mission spoke clearly.

"Who? Oh...you mean Revan. She will be..."

"No...we mean _Hayley_. She is no longer Revan. You will address her by her name." Carth's words were icy and emotionless. The way he had intended them to sound. He meant what he said too.

The Republic officer obviously didn't take the hint." She's Revan until proven otherwise. As I was saying..." he took a moment to clear his throat," _Revan_ will be secured in a safe facility until released by the Republic Representatives, who will be the ones to review her case and file all of your comments and statements, when they decide the time is right they'll release her." He finished.

Carth could have swore he heard Canderous mutter something under his breath about "we could take 'em." But it could have also been his imagination...what he wanted to hear. Thinking about doing something like that was out of the question though. If he were to even attempt to break Hayley out, with the assistance of the crew, he could see the look she would give him. One of her famous "I'm going to kill you" looks. That Carth had received before.

The crew entered the ship relunctantly and stood there, in the lounge area, for a couple moments before the silence was broken by Canderous' gruff voice. He immediately got the full attention of the crew.

"OK...I know that Hayley wants this meeting to go well so...we can't blow it. Like I want it to...literally. But are we just gonna sit by and let them isolate us!"

"Canderous is right. I sense something...not quite right about this whole thing." Juhani began," whether she knows it or not, I feel Hayley is in danger."

"Me too. Though I hate to admit it...we can't sit around here and wait. I do not believe that the Republic would intentionally put her in danger, though they unknowingly just have. I highly doubt that the Sith haven't already found out about this meeting and set and ambush for us in that sector. It would be such an oppurtune moment to attack us. We would..." Jolee stated, before getting cut off by Carth.

"...all in one place, and weak against there attack. Hell, they could kill us while we slept! Not to mention, that they would probably go after Hayley first."

"...to what? Turn her back to the darkside, right? She wouldn't betray us like that...she would rather die." Mission said in a tone that was matter-of-factly.

Mission statement brought Carth back to the memories of them right after escaping the _Leviathan_. Hayley had locked herself in the starboard quarters and refused to come out...

(The Ebon Hawk after the Leviathan incident)

_Mission approached Carth with a determined look on her face. She ran up to him and pushed him hard in the shoulders. Her eyes were angry, and her head-tails were shaking with rage._

_"You bastard!"she had screamed at him,"she holds you in the highest respect and what do you do! You reject her like some sort of...of plague! She can't help what she was...you can only judge her by her actions now! So don't you dare treat her like you just did on that bridge! What a jerk! What did she even see in you!" she stormed off before giving him a chance to redeem himself._

_Carth continued walking towards the cockpit. The one place he could be alone. He sat himself in the pilot's seat and before he could even take a breath of relief she was there. Juhani standing behind him. She held a look of serinity yet her quaking hands told otherwise. She was mad, real mad. Worse then when he had first met her in the Grove on Dantooine. He was sure in for it. Juhani had barely said two words to him on this trip...so for her to be speaking to him now sent a chill up his spine._

_"How could you be so...so unforgiving! After she helped return your very own son away from his destructive path! She has helped many people and ceatures on this trip and you blame her for something she can't even remember?"she paused to regain her calm,"You know, Revan was once a great jedi, too. Before the Mandelorian Wars, she saved my life. She saved me from a life of slavery and oppresion." She turned her back to him._

_"But...how can you be totally sure she won't turn on us like she did on the jedi and the Republic like before! You can't so...I won't jeopardize this mission,but I won't let her betray the Republic because..."_

_"I am through talking to you. If it need be this way, you should tell _her_ why you're the one betraying her trust and feelings." Juhani calmly walked out of the room._

_Carth decided to talk to her. Why did he always get stuck with task of apologizing? On his way there, he ran into Canderous. Actually, didn't run into him...Canderous had punched him in the jaw. He could still remember the words he had said to him._

_"What the hell was that for!" Carth said while rubbing his jaw tenderly._

_"That was for Hayley." He smacked him again in the face harder," And that one was for yourself!"_

_Carth was shocked. He didn't understand," Canderous, what are you doing! What do you mean for me? And I swear, hit me one more time and I'll..."_

_"Believe me, I'm restraining myself from hitting you again. That's not the point though. If you even think about betraying Hayley I'm gonna give you a beating you'll never forget." he emphasized never," The second one was to knock you to your senses."_

_"Her name is Revan. Hayley Jamira was never a real person." Carth said bitterly._

_Canderous gritted his teeth mencingly." This is your only warning. And if you do talk to her...tell her I'll be waiting when she realizes that I'm her man not some pistol wealing jockey." Carth could have swore he had saw a small smile on his face. But Canderous turned too quickly before he could confirm it._

_Carth continued his walk with a bruise on his jaw and cheek that hurt like hell...but he shrugged it off. The following conversation would prove more painful than any physical wound...he walked up to the door,took a breath, and knocked..._

(present day)

Hayley walked ahead of the two Republic gaurds and entered the small ship. As she boarded it she had a sudden sensation. _I have a bad feeling about this. _The gaurds motioned for her to sit down on a small bench on the bridge. She quickly obeyed the order without hesitation. Sitting herself gently on the bench. The stuncuffs threatened to knock her unconcious but she ignored them. They were used mainly for _dangerous_ criminals._ Is that what they think I am? A dangerous criminal? I'm not...I won't ever be again. Never,never again._

"Better get comfortable. This is going to be a long and..._bumpy_ ride." the soldier said in a tone that made her uncomfortable.

_What did he mean'bumpy'?_ She tried to put her worried notions aside, but couldn't dismiss the way he had said it. The ship started up and the front thrusters activated. Then the back ones. The ship lurched as it entered the vaccum of space, and exited the atmosphere of the planet. The ship lurched again, several minutes later as they entered hyperspace. It would take 7 hours to reach Coruscant...and get out of the uncomfortable 'cuffs. Hayley started to relax. She soon drifted into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Reviews...tis all I ask for...hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own star Wars...George Lucas does.**

**Chapter 4**

Alarms were ringing...blasters were being fired...the lights were flickering off and on with a translucent red light. Chaos erupted all around her. It was as if the crew had become mad. Republic soldiers were firing directly at other soldiers who wore the same colors as themselves. She stuggled to free herself from the restraints against the wall...but to no avail. The chains were fastened securely around her wrists and ankles, connecting to the ship's wall. _What was going on?_

Hayley tried to gain her concentration...gain access to one personel's mind to find out what was going on. She focused on one nearby officer, currently in the heat and fury of battle. She became one with the force...her mind blending into his. Nothing. He was too focused on the battle to think about what was happening..._or he was trained to resist mind probes and jedi tricks._ One by one the soldiers and officers nearest to her went down to the floor with a sickening thud. Blood coated the floor in a sticky sap. She had seen battle like this before...but she never enjoyed it. Also, to be in a position where she couldn't help or stop the deaths around her from increasing in numbers._ Is that what the men who were fighting were considered? Just numbers?_ In all her fights the though never crossed her mind. The thought that told her that these men and women were sacrificing themselves for the Republic...for her. That they had families and friends who prayed that they would come home safe...when in truth, most of them came home. In a box.

Hayley didn't know how long she had sat there...trying to heal the fallen soldiers. All she knew was that by the time the battle ceased, her voice was worn thin by her pleas for peace. A soldier approached her and grabbed her face and turned it slightly to each side as if examining her. His hands were cold and eyes held a look she had seen before..._Oh no! Please no!_

"No wounds to the prisoner, Master." she hissed to a figure that Hayley hadn't sensed standing there. The figure emerged slowly out of the shadow that passed across his face, reflecting off his metallic jaw. He stood tall, arrogant. The light catching on his lightsaber hidden beneath his dark cloak.

" Malak." She tried to keep her tone emotionles but shock showed on her face clearly.

" Shocked, Revan? I suppose you didn't expect to see me after all this time." his mechanical voice sent a chill through Hayley," I'm surprised you actually fell into this little trap, Revan. I feared time would serve to your advantage...but I was wrong. The Republic has made you weak, Revan...as it once did me. I am back now, and the Republic will soon fear the Sith again!"

"But how did you..." she began.

"How did I survive the Star Forge, Revan? Surely you don't forget _Bastila_... " he said her name as if tasting it.

"No. Bastila returned with us when we got back to Rakata. Sure she was a bit shaken but..." Hayley tried to deny the fact that she knew deeply in her heart. Bastila had betrayed them...again.

"Oh...but she did," he said as he read her mind," she betrayed you, and the whole Jedi Order. She realized that she could not ever be fully accepted back into the order. No Jedi would ever trust her again. She also could not ignore the lust for power she had so willfully tasted. She had no other alternative...then _me_."

"That still doesn't explain how you managed to survive the explosion. You couldn't have hidden..." she tried to surpress the gasp the came out of her mouth.

"Bastila had come back to the room where I was. The room where you 'defeated' me, Revan. The room of all my dark taint." he grinned evily," She preserved my life...just as she did yours. That is why you could no longer feel the bond between yourself and Bastila. It was broken when she preserved my life...it then created a bond between herself and I."

Fear choked the words from her voice so she said nothing. She just stared at her former apprentice, eyes full of calm. While terror gripped her heart.

"I suppose you're also wondering what I want with you, Revan." Every time he said her name it killed her inside. She was no longer the Dark Lord...just Hayley Jamira," At first I thought that if I managed to capture you alive, that I would take the pleasure of killing you myself. Then it struck me. What greater strategy as to turn an enemy to your cause."

_So that was what he wanted! To turn me back to the darkside. But I won't go back there...never again._ "I rejected the darkside on the _Leviathan_, and again at the top of the Rakata temple. What makes you think that I'll be turned to the Darkside now, Malak?" she said boldly.

"Because I have your friends..." He finished triumphantly.

" All systems are on ready. Beginning engine sequence. Here we go." Carth said as he sat in the pilot's seat, controls in his hands.

The _Ebon Hawk_ began its ascent alongside the transport ship that held Hayley. The _Hawk _was far more manuverable and agile then the other ship, so Carth would have to keep careful eyes on it. Otherwise they would lose it, and it would become a sitting duck. The two ships exited the atmospheric pull of the planet and the transport entered hyperspace minutes later. The_ Hawk_ followed close behind as it too entered hyperspace. It was going to be a long trip to Coruscant. Stars and other planets zoomed by outside the safety of hyperspace.

The rest of the crew waited anxiously for their arrival on Coruscant. All of them were gathered in the lounge area. Mission was playing Zaalbar for the rest of his Space Crunchies, and Canderous was tinkering with his armor. Juhani knelt comfortably on the chairs around the Pazaak table, while Jolee stood around mumbling and grumbling about something. The two droids were arguing over who was more fit to serve the "Master". It was just like old times. Except for Bastila, who nobody had seen since the Star Forge incident.

Hours later and most of the crew was still where they had been...except Zaalbar who had stopped off in a tantrum due to the fact that he had again lost against Mission. Carth had set the ship on auto-pilot and decided to join the rest of the crew. As he entered the room he heard the constant grumbling of Jolee. He walked up to him to see what was the problem now. Jolee turned to face Carth. A small vestige of terror passed his face briefly before dissappearing. Carth didn't really notice it.

"How you doin' Jolee." he said casually.

"Well, my legs hurt, the food on this bucket is horrible, the droids won't shut-up, Zaalbar keeps griping about his stomach, Mission..." he began his long list of complaints, but was interrupted by Carth.

"Sorry I asked." he said sarcastically and started to leave.

"What's wrong, sonny?" Jolee stopped him in his tracks.

"How could you tell?"

"Maybe it's the scowl that's on your face."Jolee stated.

Carth hadn't even realized that he was frowning,"Oh...I don't know. Maybe it's just that Hayley has been arrested, we're all under quarantine...not to mention that we all have to go to debriefing just to prove that Hayley is Hayley and no longer Revan, and to top it all off the whole Republic practically hates us! We save the galaxy...for what? So that everone can hate us. Oh yeah...that makes total sense to me. How 'bout you?" he started to breath heavily.

"Well, when you put it that way...it sounds terrible. Just look at the bright side...at least we don't have a Sith Armada trying to kill us..." the whole ship shook and sent everyone to the ground. The alarms started to ring.Carth shot Jolee a look,"Uhhh...scratch that.

"Canderous, Juhani! Get on those gun turrets. It looks like we have company." Carth yelled as he ran to the cockpit and grabbed the controls.

Carth suddenly froze with fear...ahead of them was a whole Sith Armada. The large capital ships were already sending out interceptors. The small ships firing their lasers at the _Hawk_. There was no way that they were going to be able to take on a whole squadron of Sith.

"Evasive manuvers!" he screamed into the comm next to him that was currently set to the transport's frequencies. Carth set the ship in a full on dive then pulled up and turned sharp.

"What are you doing...ahhhhh, you stupid gamorrean!" Mission's voice yelled into the comm, " you could have killed me with that turn!"

Carth turned the comm off. He didn't have time to argue with her right now. He focused more on leading the advancing Sith away from the smaller ship. All of a sudden there was a burst of laserfire and the transport blew up. The large explosion shook the ship and destroyed many of the small sith interceptors.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Carth screamed," Hayley!" Tears blurred his vision and rage threatened to take control of him. A hand reached down and gently gripped his shoulder.

"Get us out of here, sonny! We can't do anything for her now!" Jolee yelled at him.

"No! We could...we could...she could still be...alive. I can't...won't leave her!"Carth argued.

"She's gone, Carth! She wouldn't want us to sacrifice ourselves like this!" Jolee said.

Canderous' voice came over the comm," Carth, what the hell are you waiting for! We have to get the hell out of here!"

Carth looked around desperately...he didn't know what to do...he was so, so confused. Jolee pushed him out of the chair and activated the hyperdrive. Everything zoomed past them as they entered the safety of hyperspace. Jolee looked at Carth. For a couple of minutes he just sat there, in shock. Canderous came up beside him and stood there.

" She died honorably. She died in the heat of battle. She was..." he began.

"The hell with you, Canderous! The hell with you all!" and with that he stormed out of the room.

**A/N: Ok...things aren't as bad as they seem. Please keep reading! And Review...the button is sooooo close. It is quite easy to click on it, too.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, my chapters are gonna get more angsty...so just warning all of you. Please review! Thanks for the reviews so far! If anybody has some suggestions or constructive critiscm...write a review to me about it! I would love any help!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or KotOR...George Lucas does.**

**Chapter 5**

Carth sat there in the cargo hold. He held his blaster tightly...occassionaly bringing it up to his forehead in a suicidal guesture. She was gone. He had lost her...just as he had lost his wife before. He should have tried harder to distract them. It all seemed like a blur. The turrets firing, the explosion, the crew screaming. All he had now was gone...she was his anchor and now he had lost her. He was just an empty vessel that would continue to float around until he sunk.

Juhani sat in the starboard quarters with Mission. The jedi code had seemed to abandon her. She wept and grieved with Mission as they sat on the ground, just holding each other in a grievous embrace. Hayley was their best friend, not to mention their hero...savior. What would they do without her?

Canderous sat in the co-pilot's seat beside Jolee. Jolee said not a word, but stared forward as if trying to find something that wasn't even there to begin with. Canderous just continued to watch the radar...looking for enemies to appear, but none did. He needed something to vent his anger on. _Or am I just waiting to see the transport's ID signature appear on the screen, and hear her voice again saying"I'm OK. We all survived." _

T3-m4 plugged into the comm system and continued to try and gain a frequency with the ghost ship. Hk-47 paced up and down the halls, trying to decide what to do next. His Master was gone...so what now?

The halls and rooms of the _Ebon Hawk_ were silent and still in reverance to the lost Jedi. The moans and groans of the hyperdrive lay silent, as they continued on course to Coruscant.

"This is Docking Bay 77921. Please transmit your ID signature."a voice over the comm system said. Jolee reluctantly obeyed and entered the signature." All checks clear. You are now permitted to land. Have a pleasant stay here on Coruscant."

Jolee snorted at that comment. It wasn't planned to be enjoyable...but Hayley would have done her best to make it enjoyable...

( Ebon Hawk after Kashyyk)

_Hayley approached Jolee as he was in the med bay tidying up the place. Her face held a frown and concentration burrowed in her eyes. Jolee stopped her as she passed._

_"You had another fight with Carth, I take it." she nodded," Here...sit down and I'll tell you a story. There was once this boy that I knew named...um...what was it? Ahh, yes...Andor. Well, anyway, Andor had all this force swirling around him."_

_" And you see that in me too?" she asked._

_"We're talking about Andor, remember. Anyway, sometimes swirling force is just swirling force. It makes us old Jedi go"ooo, destiny!" Now where were we, ahh yes Andor. He was so sure of his destiny that he thought he was invulnerable. Well, we were on a ship, me and Andor, and I had had just about enough of Andor and his destiny. When suddenly we were captured by the Dimeans."_

_"Who are they?"_

_" You probably haven't heard of the Dimeans, they were before your time. But a nasty lot of them they were. Especially their leader, Kraat. Now Andor is so sure that his destiny makes him invulnerable that he starts making all sorts of demands like"free me now!" and " don't you know who I am?" Well, Kraat decides he's had enough of the boy that he picks him up by the throat and starts crushing it. I always told him to keep his mouth shut...and I think he agreed with me too! Or that could have just been some gurgling noises coming out of his throat." he paused dramatically._

_"Go on..." She said now fully drawn into the story. It made Jolee happy to see her so interested in the story so he continued._

_"Kraat finally throws Andor into this giant intake shaft and Andor gets sucked in, starts bouncing around...hehehe, screaming...hehehe. Maybe Andor hit something sensitive on the way down, or just didn't agree with the reactor core. But all of a sudden the ships alarms are ringing..." he started laughing._

_"You're kidding..."_

_"Everyone panics, and I run. Barely making it to my ship before the the whole place blows up. Kraat dies horribly and the Dimeans never quite recover. Now I'd say that that was quite some destiny, wouldn't you?"_

_"I was better off arguing with Carth..." she said sarcastically as she left. Jolee smiled before getting back to his work..._

(present day)

The explosion rocked the ship and threw Hayley against the wall. Malak didn't budge. He just continued to stare at her with eyes that could penetrate steel. The ship suddenly sped up quickly and the room was cast in a shadow of darkness.

"Master, we have safely docked with the _Leviathan_." She knew that voice!

"Good. Did we put on a good show,_ Bastila_?" Malak questioned.

"Yes, Master. Though I am sorry to say that the Carth and the crew escaped...alive."

"I believe you know each other. Bastila-Revan. Revan-Bastila." He said.

"Bastila, you pretentious schutta!" Hayley screamed angrily at her.

"Ahhhh, Revan. I see you are still bitter as always."

"I swear if you harmed anyone on the..." she began.

"Do not worry. I have not harmed the crew...or your _lover_." she snickered.

Hayley struggled to break free of her restraints. Anger bubbled in her like a hot spring. _There is no emotion, there is peace_. She repeated the phrase in her head. Bastila and Malak joined in an evil banter of laughter.

"Hahaha...I never thought I'd see the day when the Dark Lord of the Sith would be reciting the Jedi Code...hahaha."he suddenly turned serious." Place her in the interrogation room. I will deal with her soon enough."

"You're a fool, Malak! How do you think your going to get me to go into..." Bastila stuck a small needle into her neck," I'll...kill...you for..." then she fell unconcious.

"Well done, my apprentice." Malak swung around and exited the small ship, his black cape flowing behind him.

Hayley awoke in a torture field. The same one she had used when she had previously been on board this ship. Then she had Carth along and it was no easy task answering the questions while he was tortured. In the end she had given in, to stop Carth's pain. Now she was alone...she had no weakness to be exploited. Malak entered the room. Bastila shortly behind...she stood to the side, while Malak faced Hayley.

"You should still remember how it goes...tell me what I want to know and you don't get tortured. Answer wrong or refuse to answer and you will be tortured. Here we go." Malak said.

"I won't tell you anything, Malak." Hayley said calmly.

"We'll see, won't we? First question...where is the hidden Jedi Enclave?"

Hayley remained silent. Malak nodded to Bastila who activated the torture field. Pain shot through her as the electricity surrounded her and shocked her.

"Next question...where do the jedi keep their hidden artifacts?"

Hayley again said nothing.

"Too bad..." he nodded again and this time the pain flamed up more powerfully."Third question...where is the crew of the _Ebon Hawk _going?"

Hayley could tell she was wearing Malak's patience thin...so she continued to stay silent. Malak could no longer hold his anger in. He opened the cage and activated his lightsaber which he slashed a deep cut on her cheek. Blood spilled out and rolled down her chin and onto the floor. Hayley winced in pain. A smile slowly crept along Malak's face. He repeatedly cut her over and over again all over her body. She screamed in pain...but he did not let up. Blood soaked into her robe until it was saturated with it. Tears rolled down her cheeks mixed with the blood. She fell to the ground in pain. _Carth...where...are you? I... I...I need...you. Help...me...please._

Malak sliced her once more before she collapsed to the ground and passed out...

The ship was silent as they made their descent into the Docking Bay. Jolee activated the auto-pilot which hooked onto the tractor beam from the Docking Bay that eventually pulled them into the magnetic force field and then into the hangar. Jolee activated the comm and sent a message to the Jedi council.

"Hello...this is Jolee Bindo. Do you copy,Order?" after a moment of silence and static a familier voice came on line.

"This is Master Vandar speaking. It is good to speak with you again. I take it your flight went well?"

Jolee paused." Well...no. We...um...we lost her. We lost Hayley."

"Are you in need of a search party? We will begin..."

"It's not...not like that, old friend. I mean...she's gone. We ran into a Sith Armada. They..." Jolee swallowed hard," blew her ship up. She died in the explosion."

Master Vandar was silent."This news deeply saddens me...it also worries me greatly."

"I know she was an asset to the Order but..." Jolee's tone held anger.

"No, that is not what I mean. It worries me because I could not feel the loss through the Force. You have my deepest sympathy. You may now return to Rakata if that is your descision. Master Vandar out."

_That's strange. Why couldn't the council sense her death? Hmmmmm...most curious._ Jolee turned on the ship's personal comm system.

"I have just spoken to the council and they say we can return to Rakata if we please, or go elsewhere. I'd also like everyone to meet me in the lounge area immediately. Jolee walked to the area and waited as the crew one by one showed up. The most disturbing thing, to Jolee, was when Carth arrived. His eyes were red from lack of sleep..._or crying. Poor lad_. His face held lines of worry and of sadness. Jolee wasn't entirely ready to see him like this.

"I have called you here in memory of Hayley Jamira, and of Revan. She was a great Jedi..."Jolee said.

"Great friend..." Mission said through tears.

"Great warrior..."Canderous added.

"Great savior..." Juhani acknowledged.

"Exclamation: Great Meatba...er, Master." HK said as T3 whistled an affirmative.

Everyone looked at Carth. He looked down.

"What she did for the galaxy will be remembered forever." Jolee said.

"What she did for me will always be remembered." Juhani said as everyone nodded in agreement.

" Before you all leave...there is something you should know. The council said that they didn't feel her death through the Force." Everyone faced Jolee.

"What? How could they not have? We all felt it, did we not?" Juhani stated.

"I just thought you should know. Maybe we chose to feel it...because we saw it. Bah...I'm just rambling. Now get outta here. I say we stay her for the night, and leave for Rakata in the morning.

"Sounds good to me. I'm heading to the cantina. You comin', Onasi?" Canderous looked at Carth. Carth reluctantly nodded and walked out with Canderous to the local cantina.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! I'm gonna keep writing even if you don't, but I would really appreciate a review every now and then.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n: Thanks for the reviews! Here is another chapter to the ongoing story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

**Chapter 6**

"Had enough yet, Revan?" Malak said mercilessly.

Hayley lay against a cold stone slab. Her body was like a mutilated mess. Her hair was a mangled frizz and her eyes a bloodshot red. Her face told tales of the many beatings Malak had given her, and the cuts in her skin were deeper then they appeared. The cuts went straight to her heart. Bastila could have prvented her this current of pain that washed around her...instead her own blood was on Bastila's hands. But, Hayley stood fast. She would not betray her friends..._Carth_.

"You can...torture me...all...you want...but...but it will...do...no...good." she said between breaths. In a rage, Malak slapped his hand against Hayley's cut on her face sending a burst of pain rippling through her body. The pain was immense, but she managed a small smile." Are...you enjoying this...Bastila? I sure...hope so...cause it hurts like hell...to me. I guess...that's all...you...really wanted...in the long run. Me...in pain."

Those words hit Bastila in the face like an airbus. She should have prepared herself more. Maybe she wasn't truly ready to face the Dark Lord yet. _Revan always could be persuasive._ Feeling the doubt in his apprentices mind, Malak decided to test her.

"Bastila?"

"Yes, Master?"

"Interrogate her. I have some business to take care of. I will return shortly. Remember, Bastila, don't hold back your emotions. Your fear, doubt, anger...let it flow through you." then he left.

Bastila stared at Revan who continued to lie there suffering. The woman was strong, but how much could she really take? Bastila stroled over to Revan and sent sparks of electricity coursing through her body. She screamed in agony. Bastila tried to not look at her. She had once been her friend too._ No! I will not let Revan's persuasive mind get to me! She will die first! _Bastila could sense all of Revan's anger boiling up inside her.

"Now you know how I felt. How easy it was to fall to the Darkside. You do know that by giving in to the Darkside, all the pain will end. You will be free...the force shall free me." she ended by quoting the Sith code.

"I would be hurt...more...if I _did_ give...in." Hayley countered.

"You fool! You gave up the Darkside...but the Darkside hasn't given up on you! Friends make you weak! Can't you see that! It was you who gave me all this anger and suffering in the first place! And for that...you shall pay!" Lightning erupted from the tips of her fingers and flew into Hayley.

"I wasn't..." she pleaded.

"Oh, save it! You will die by my hands eventually...whether Malak wills it or not. Do you know why, Revan?" Hayley could see the pain in her eyes.

"Bastila...it...doesn't have to be...this way. You must understand..."

"I completely understand. You should have killed me on the Star Forge...but you couldn't, could you? Now the galaxy will suffer due to your pitiful mercy on me! Malak was right...hero, villian,savior,conquerer. You will always be all of these."

"I refuse to be..."

"Evil? Oh, Revan...you will never be able to escape from who you really are..." Bastila said confidentely as she continued torturing Hayley...

Carth sat beside Canderous in the _Black Spider_ cantina. He lifted the small cup of Alderaanian Ale to his lips. It burned the whole way down. Carth finished it off then ordered some more. That had been his tenth cup of the awful stuff. Canderous reached over pushed him slightly.

"Don't you think that you've had enough of that stuff. You know you're the one who's gonna fly the ship..."

Carth shot him a look that said "leave me alone".

"Lighten up, Onasi. We're all gonna miss her. There's really nothing that either of us could've done to stop it."

"I should of tried harder to distract them. I mean... our ship could've taken a lot more hits that wouldn't of done serious damage to us. Damn it all! I could've saved her! I couldn't...I failed her. I promised her I'd protect her...and now she's dead." He swallowed another cup of ale.

"Really, Onasi...you gotta shtop drinking. Your gonna kill us all while we're flying..." Carth slammed his fist on the table.

"Then I'll see you in hell!" He got up and stomped off.

Carth exited the cantina and headed back to the ship. His steps were heavy and as he walked up the boarding ramp he felt a sudden sensation that forced him to his knees. _Hayley?_ Jolee and Juhani helped him to his feet and helped him inside. He sat down on a chair.

"What's the matter?" Juhani asked.

"Hayley! She's still alive! I...I know it! I can...feel it!" he said excitedly.

"Carth, how much have you had to drink?" Jolee questioned his sanity.

"Can't...can't you feel it?" Carth asked suddenly unsure of himself.

Jolee and Juhani gave each other a suspecting look." Carth, we don't feel...anything different!"

"Oh...I guess it was just..." Carth looked at the floor. His hope broken.

"No! That's just it, my boy! We are all so close to her! We would have felt something through the Force! Why didn't it hit me sooner! The reason the council didn't sense her death would mean..." Jolee said with a smile.

"She's still alive!" Carth finished.

"What you felt, Carth, was probably a signal she was trying to send to us!" Juhani said as she regained her posture.

" She's in trouble. That's what I felt." Carth said.

" Well! What are you waiting for? Get moving, sonny!" Canderous walked in.

"Uhhh... did I miss somethin'?" he said drowsily.

Carth ran to the pilot's seat. He just kept repeating..._She's alive! She's alive! She's alive!_ He fired up the engines and blasted out into space.

"Bastila, it appears that Revan here contacted her friends. We're picking up one small ship entering hyperspace coordinates to our location. I have to deal with the fools...so you must keep an eye on her." Malak shot her a conspicuous look, " that won't be a problem will it?"

"N-no, Master." Malak left.

Being in the presense of someone who you hated and loved at the same time was...difficult. Not to mention, Revan was making it extremely difficult to torture her. Half way through their conversation...Revan became silent. Bastila tortured her immensely just to hear her speak. She remained silent.

"You've taken more then I thought possible, Revan. You are stronger then you appear." Hayley looked down weakly." But I will break you eventually...just like Malak broke _me_."

Hayley struggled to continue her silence. The pain was now beginning to overwhelm her. It was becoming harder to think...to concentrate. Part of her screamed to just give in...to end the pain. She wouldn't though...she had been on that path before. She didn't like it.

"Say something! Anything! I swear I'll kill you if you don't say something!" she ignited her crimson lightsaber," Why won't you say anything!"

Bastila could no longer take the silence. She decided that she better make good on her threat, at least a little. She jabbed the blade into Revan's stomach and pulled it back out, slowly. Revan screamed in pain and nearly passed out. The pain was blurring her vision. Black crept at the corners of her eyes. She let it come...she let the pain consume her and she fell unconcious. Bastila left the room hastily.

Bastila walked down the hallway of the ship. She felt sick. How could she have done that? How could she have hurt her like that? It all seemed like a blur. Revan laying there, screaming in agony and pain. The pain Bastila inflicted upon her. Bastila's mind was a mess of thoughts and emotions. She was thrown to the side of the ship. Shrapnel dug into her face slightly. She winced in pain as she regained her posture and plucked the shrapnel out of her flesh.

"All men to the fighters! Turrets activated! This is not a drill...repeat, this is not a drill!" the commander's voice echoed over the comm system.

_She had done it! She had done it again! I don't believe it! Even in her weakened state...she managed to send a signal for help! That schutta!_ Bastila rushed to her own fighter. She had insisted upon her own fighter so that she would never be caught off gaurd on land or sky. She had trained night and day to perfect her aerial aeronautics. She burst through the hangar doors.

There she was...the _Dark Beacon_. Her personal Sith interceptor. It had been modified with many special upgrades that guaranteed winning in most combat situations. Bastila levitated herself up and into the cockpit. The feel of the controls in her hands sent an excited shiver up her spine. _She_ would be the one to deliver the final blow to the _Ebon Hawk_ and destroy Revan's last chance for rescue, the last chance for the Republic.

Her engine reved up for take off, as did all the other interceptors. Turrets started firing and ships started being blasting out of the hangar. The _Dark Beacon_ sped up to the front of the formation.

"Death Moon squadron, fall into line." Bastila said as the pilot's of some of the other interceptors began to fall into a formation behind her.

"Moon 1, ready." The pilot of this ship was a Dark Jedi, like Bastila. She had been trained exstensively in combat situations such as these. This was one of the people Bastila could trust to get the job done.

"Moon 2, ready." The pilot of this ship was an ex Republic soldier who had once been the strategic commander at Malachor V. He was in charge of all the strategic advances.

"Moon 3, ready."

"Moon 4, ready."

"Moon 5, ready."

"Moon 6, ready. Let's kick some Republic butt!" The pilot of this ship was arrogant and foolhardy but could always be counted on to accomplish the mission."

"Alright, Death Moon squadron, formation Delta 5, tactic 7. Form up!" The ships formed into a triangle shape. This would avoid being flanked or outmanuvered." We're coming up on the target. Prepare for offensive strikes to the back accelerators. That'll criple them for sure. After we'll move in and wipe them out...completely. Everyone understand the plan?" Agreements came over the comm system," Good. This will teach the Republic who's in charge now!"

"Almost there...it's in! Target has entered firing range. Waiting for the signal..." Moon 2 said.

"Sheilds activated..." Moon 4 said as she activated her outer sheild, and the others did the same.

"Now! Attack! Move in, move in! Proton torpedoes activating. Locking on..." Bastila said as her targeting screen locked on to the _Hawk_.

**A/N: Please review! The more reviews, the more motivation I have to keep updating!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for all the angst! I promise that it will get happier...eventually! Good things come to those that wait...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.**

**Chapter 7**

The _Ebon Hawk_ exited hyperspace, and immediately ran into the Sith Armada. Carth's face was wrinkled with worry and determination. It was a suicide mission...he knew it. He also didn't care...she was alive, that was all that mattered. If he couldn't save her, he would die trying. The others felt the same way.

Unfortunately, the Armada had been waiting for them. They had lost the element of surprise...he just hoped that would be the only thing lost today. Interceptors started to close in on their positions. Carth felt a sudden chill. Something was wrong, real wrong.

"Jolee, Juhani? Do you feel that?"

Silence.

"Carth...quiet! Their meditating. They said that they sensed something about the lead interceptors. Right now they are trying to pin-point the source of the disturbance and stop it or hold it off." Mission stated as she walked up behind Carth.

"OK...but I need someone else on those gun turrets. Fast." he winked at her.

"Got 'cha covered, old man. I'm on it!" Mission ran off towards the left turret.

Carth began his evasive manuvers. He had to get close to the largest ship. Oh-no._ The Leviathan? I thought that ship was destroyed at the Star Forge. She has to be on that one...I know it._ He was jarred out of his thoughts by a blast that nearly took his sheilds out. He activated the comm to Canderous and Mission. He heard swearing and something about the Sith's mother.

"What the hell was that?" Carth yelled.

"What? I was just saying that the commander's mother looked like an..." Mission was interrupted.

"Not _that_! I meant, how did that shot get through our defenses?" Carth corrected.

"Hey! It wasn't my fault! That ship is fast! It's too fast...it's like it's propelled more by..." She was cut off by Jolee scratchy voice. He didn't sound too happy.

"That ship _is_ propelled by something other than itself. It's being propelled by..." he swallowed," the Force."

"That would mean..." Carth started.

"It's Bastila, Carth. She's on the Sith's side...but she's not using her Battle Meditation yet. She figures we're easy prey."

"She's gonna be right if another of those shots get through..." Carth said.

"I _told_ you. It _wasn't my fault_!" Mission yelled back, matching Carth's tone.

Carth was too busy now to reply back. The news he had just recieved was disturbing. With Bastila on the Sith's side, they didn't stand a chance. Carth brought the ship into a dive and then performed a sharp left turn, heading right at attacking fighters and the largest capital ship. If he was going down, he was going to take as many of them as possible with him. The _Hawk_ fired her turrets rapidly and repeatedly. Five interceptors went down, including one of the ones in Bastila's sqaudron. The comm crackled to life again...

"_Ebon Hawk_, stand down. You will not survive this encounter if you do not surrender now." The voice mocked.

"Negative, we're not giving up without a fight." Carth said back.

"Carth Onasi. I suppose I should have known it would be you who would come to rescue her. Too bad your valient effort will be in vain." she snickered.

"Bastila. I swear if you hurt her, I'll..." she cut him off.

"Oh, don't worry, Carth. I didn't do anything to her that she hasn't already done to herself or others. I will repeat one last time...stand down or we will blow your ship to hell!"

"I'll stand dow--" Carth began," Wait! No! I won't be persuaded by those mind tricks. I 'm getting to her, even if I have to go through you to get there!"

Carth cut the transmission, and upped the accelerater and sheilds. The ship wasn't going to last much longer if they keep taking these kind of beatings. _If I could just get close enough to the capital ship to land in there hangar_...Another explosion hit the hull of the ship sending it in a spiral downwards. Carth used that to their advantage, and then sent it spiralling back up with turrets firing. Their ship was moving too rapidly and spontaneously to be tracked or get a lock on. He then transferred all remaining power to the boosters and sent the ship flying towards the _Leviathan_. Once close enough, Carth jammed into the hangars, blasting all the docked ships and personnel. The ship's landing sequence initiated and they landed safely in the hangar.

Dark Jedi poured out of the doors surrounding the landing pad and made a run towards the ship. Many of them were gunned down before they made it, but the ones who survived were struck down by either Juhani or Jolee who were both outside the ship, protecting it against invaders. The rest of the crew was busily equiping their armor and weapons. Juhani and Jolee were casting an aura at the entrance to the hangar. That was to protect the crew from attacking interceptors...especially Bastila, who had begun using her Battle Meditation too late in the battle.

Mission put on her infiltrator gloves, a gift from Hayley once they had escaped Taris. Hayley had saved up all her credits to buy the gloves for her. Mission had been grieving for her planet, but once Hayley gave her those gloves...all the pain seemed to melt away. Mission knew that the _Leviathan_ had a well serviced security system, that would be a challenge to hack into. Those gloves would sure come in handy.

Canderous examined his Mandalorian Battle Armor that Hayley had salvaged from a wreck on Tatooine. It was a momento from his battle with Jagi in the dunes. It was slick and polished, Canderous had taken good care of it. He trusted that armor to protect him from all elements. It was also a reminder that Mandalorian culture would never completely perish.

Zaalbar was fixing and upgrading the droids. HK-47 was equipped with a flamethrower and stun ray. Hayley never felt comfortable with a droid, such as HK, weilding really lethal weapons. T3-M4 squeeled and he wheeled over to the hatch of the ship. He was well equipped for this mission. He would make sure that no ships or unwanted soldiers got close enough to the _Ebon Hawk_ or its crew to do damage. He was made for security measures.

Carth held his Echani Vibroblade. It felt smooth and warm to the touch, but also glowed softly. Hayley had modified it in a way that no one was ever really sure what she had done to it. Carth knew though. She had put a Solari crystal in it. One of the rarest crystals in the galaxy. It had a natural defense to Darkside power and a natural affinity to lightside...so whenever Carth held it, he felt at peace. Carth ran his hand over the refined blade. It was still as sharp as it had been when she had first given it to him.

"Hurry up, kids! Juhani and I can't keep this up forever! Bastila will try and get into your mind with her Battle Meditation...you musn't let her control you! Remember my words, if nothing else when you face her...If she tries to enter your mind...play Pazaak!" Jolee said as he strained to keep the forcefield up and running.

"What do you mean?" Carth asked as he finished sheathing his weapon.

"I mean...if she tries to mess around with your mind, play Pazaak in your head. She most likely won't expect it...so she will not be able to get past it." Juhani added.

"Oh...I get it. Use Pazaak as a form of mental barrier, right?" Carth said as he headed down the ramp with Canderous, Mission, and Zaalbar beside him, and HK-47 bringing up the rear.

"Right, sonny! Now get moving! If we can, we will join you later." Jolee turned towards Carth,"Bring her back safe..."

"Like I'd have it any other way?" he smiled.

The crew followed Carth over to a computer terminal. Carth motioned for T3-M4 to come over. He quickly and skillfully hacked into the security terminal and shut off the central alarms. This would allow them to move around freely without setting off the motion sensor alarm.

"OK...here's the plan. Mission, you'll activate your stealth emitter and scout ahead to make sure that we don't run into any _surprises_, then Canderous, Zaalbar, and I will go and rescue Hayley from her cell...uh, once we know where it is. Which leads me to you again, Mission. I need you to hack into the main frame and locate Hayley's current position, then the rest of us will take care of the rest. HK-47, I need you to cover us once we start heading towards her location." Carth said confidently.

"Query: does that mean I may blow up any meatbags along the way, Master?" HK chimed in.

"Like hell it does!" Canderous stated," Time to do things like a Mandalorian!

"Alright, everyone! You all know your duties?" Everyone nodded." OK, good. By the way, our prime objective is to get her out of here...alive. That means that I'm counting on you guys to continue the mission...if something happens to me. You get her out, no matter what. Understand?" Everyone nodded their head reluctantly." Alright, soldiers, let's move out!"

Everyone quickly began ther job. Mission sliced into the computer with ease, fingers flying over the controls.

"She's on Level 7, cell block 8, detention cell 17." Mission let out a gasp," Carth, we have to hurry! She's set to be terminated in five minutes!"

Carth wasted no time, he quickly ran down the hallways with his blade cleanly slicing unaware soldiers seperating him from his love. HK-47 was clearly enjoying what he called "unaltered violence" as he shot down soldiers who were following them. Canderous' repeating rifle could be heard for miles as the shots rang clear, each hitting a guard and knocking them to the ground. Mission's voice came over the small handheld comm. It shook with fear.

"C-Carth?Come i-in."

"Canderous, cover me." Carth turned and knelt behind a wall," Mission? What is it? Is everything OK?"

"Carth, the guards just came and took her! She looked bad, Carth...real bad. I think they're gonna...gonna" Mission started to cry softly.

"Mission? Do you know where they're taking her?" Carth said softly.

"N-nooo..." she started crying again.

"Mission, it's alright. We'll find her. I promise. Right now I need you to follow the guards and let me know where they're taking her. Understood?" Carth said, trying to comfort her.

"U-understood, Sir. Mission out." She cut the transmission.

"Heads!" A blaster shot flew past Carth, barely missing him.

"Thanks for the warning." He said sarcastically," We have bigger problems right now, though. The Sith have apparently upped the time of her execution. The guards just took her. We have to hurry!"

"Let's move then! C'mon, Onasi, let's go save your girl!" Canderous said as they rushed down the hallway and into the elevator, taking it to the lower levels of the ship.

**A/N: Just a little morsel for you people to chew on. Someone is going to die soon! Who will it be? Why will they die? Do they really die at all? Hhhmmm...I think I will keep that to myself. MUAHAHA! Sorry...review please! The more reviews...the quicker I update! If you like this story please tell me!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here is another good chapter! My favorite so far! And so the angst continues...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

**Chapter 8**

The small explosion blinded Bastila for a couple of seconds. Moon 4 was down...and so was Moon 5. Her team was being ripped apart. She hadn't expected this kind of resistance from them. She underestimated them...again.

"All fighters return to the hangar immediately!"Bastila demanded.

Bastila turned her fighter around and headed back into the hangar. Her interceptor was severely damaged and needed immediate repairs. As she almost reached the hangar bay she sensed a disturbance in the Force. All of a sudden a light blue aura emmanated from the front of the bay. It was almost unnoticable...it hit her!

"All fighters do not return to the hang..." Explosions started to erupt from all over the entrances to the hangars.

Juhani and Jolee had obviously put up some sort of Force Barrier. How long could they keep it up, though? Bastila started to use her Battle Meditation to assist the surviving ships away from the hangar. They were completely cut off from the capital ship. There was no other way to enter it. Suddenly, a thought struck Bastila. It was risky, but it could be done.

Bastila piloted her fighter to the hull of the ship and slowly, carefully landed on it. She summoned the Force and took a deep breath. The interceptors hatch opened, allowing the vaccum of space to suck the atmosphere out of the cockpit. Bastila hastily jumped out and used the Force to sustain her against the hull. She then made her way to the emergency hatch and opened it, lowered herself in, and activated the lock sequence.

Air spilled into the room, as Bastila breathed a sigh of relief. She ran into the hallway with her lightsaber glowing red. Her black robe clinging to her as she headed towards the termination room. Soldiers lay dead and dying all over the ship. She quickened her pace.

Hayley awoke with a start...her breathing was labored, and her musceles ached. She tried to move but couldn't summon the will to do it. She was hurt, bad. Her wounds were severe, and her stomach felt like it was going to be ripped apart. Dried blood stained her brown Jedi robe. She managed to look down and see the hole where Bastila had stabbed her. She felt sick.

Guards entered the room, each carrying a Gamorrean War Axe. They didn't look too friendly. She tried to talk, but her mouth was dry, and no words came out. The guards roughly grabbed her and dragged her off. She thought she sensed a presence, but when she looked up...no one was there. Her imagination was playing tricks with her.

_Who would come to rescue me? They all think I'm dead. Who would care if I died now anyway? Carth would...but if I wasn't in the picture anymore, he wouldn't have to keep that stupid promise to protect me... and get hurt in the process. _She stuggled weakly against the guards at first, but when that realization hit her she stopped struggling. She would let it come. The death that had hounded her from the beginning. The death Hayley...no _Revan_, deserved. _At least no one will ever be harmed by me, Revan, ever again._

She was thrown up against another stone slab, as the guards began to strap her down. _So this is it? This is how the 'mighty lord Revan' is going to die? Hmmmm...kinda ironic? This is probably where many of Revan's,or my, prisoners met there end._ Suddenly shots were fired and the guards who had been restraining her fell to the ground. She could hear familiar voices but couldn't place them. She began slipping into the darkness...

Carth burst through the doors and quickly ended the lives of the two guards. There she was. She looked terrible. Her hair was a mess and she had cuts all over her. Bruises marked her face and skin. Then he noticed the large hole in her robe.

"Hayley!" Carth ran over to her and released her from her restraints," Hayley, stay with me! I can't lose you! Not like this! I promised to protect you! You can't die! I love you!"

Tears streamed down Carth's face. Canderous rushed over and treated her with a couple of med pacs. It did no good. Her condition was getting worse and worse. Jolee suddenly entered the room.

"Carth, we need to get her out of here! Get ready for some company! The force field is down! Juhani and I couldn't hold it any longer...she's at the ship now, prepping it for launch! Bastila's on her way...right now! I also sense another dark presence here...we must leave now." Jolee yelled as he helped Carth to his feet.

Carth held Hayley's limp body close to his. She felt so fragile and frail in his arms as they ran to the ship. Jolee had enveloped them all in some sort of sheild. They finally reached the _Ebon Hawk_ when Bastila appeared from out of nowhere. Her lightsaber glowing with an opaque red. A smile of success on her face. Carth pulled Hayley closer to him. She walked toward them. Carth looked from the ship to Bastila...he highly doubted that they would make it.

"Don't even think about it, Carth. If I had wanted you dead, you would be dead." She walked closer.

" I won't let you harm her!" Carth looked at her with disgust.

"Too late..." she was now close enough to attack them. They were defenseless. Canderous stepped in front of the group and drew his blade out." Ha! You think you can defeat me?"

"No...but I can distract you long enough to buy them some time." Canderous grinned." I'll die honorably, unlike you.

Bastila had been too disracted with Canderous to notice Carth and the rest run towards the ship. They were safely inside now. Once inside, Carth gently laid Hayley down in the Medbay, then he rushed back to the cockpit. He arrived just in time to see Bastila deliver the final blow to Canderous, and Canderous collapsed to the ground. Carth fired up the engine and blasted out into space. Once cleared of the _Leviathan_, Carth entered hyperspace...

Hayley laid in the Medbay. Jolee was doing the best he could but it wasn't helping. Hayley remained in critical condition. Carth entered the room and sat next to Hayley. His eyes were full of fear. He looked to Jolee.

"Is she...going to make it?" Carth asked quietly.

"Carth...she's dying. I've done all I can...but nothing is working. It's almost like her body has built an immune system to medicines and antibiotics." Jolee looked down at her small body.

"There has to be something you can do! Canderous sacrificed his life for us...for her! We can't let him down now." Carth said sadly.

"Carth, I know this is hard but...she doesn't _want_ to live. That is why the medicines aren't working. She is fighting them. I'm sorry, Carth." Jolee left the room.

Carth leaned closer to Hayley and grabbed her hand. He held it in his own hands. It was cold, and limp. He sat there with her for hours, whispering comforting things in her ear. He wasn't going to let her do this to herself.

"I love you, beautiful. C'mon, you can pull through this. Don't fight the medicines, you can't win this fight alone. Don't die, if not for you...then don't die for _me_. I need you , Hayley. I don't know what I'd do without you. I thought I lost you once, I won't let it happen again." Carth brushed her hair out of her face gently.

The monitor showing Hayley's vital signs started to beep in a warning alarm. She was dying...and there wasn't anything he could do...but watch.

Meanwhile, Hayley was fighting her own emotional demons...

_She was standing at the top of the Rakata temple. All her friends were standing around her, staring at her menacingly. Jolee spoke up._

_"The Jedi Council was foolish in thinking that you could be saved from your own desructive path! You should have died on that ship! The council only prolonged your death, Revan!" Jolee snarled at her._

_"No, I'm not Revan. I'm Hayley! Don't call me that!"_

_"Revan, you are nothing... but a betrayer! You saved me for what? So that you could betray and kill me later? I hate you, Revan!" Juhani spat at her._

_"What do you mean? I would never hurt you guys! You're like my family!"_

_"Purposely hurt us...no. But it doesn't matter...whatever you do hurts us, Revan!" Mission yelled at her._

_"Stop it! I didn't do anything!" Hayley begged._

_"Exactly! By not doing anything, you doomed us, Revan! You're no warrior...you're a coward!" Canderous said angerily._

_"I...I don't know what you're talking about! Please...stop! I'm sorry if I hurt you!" Tears rolled off of her cheeks and onto the ground._

_Bastila walked towards her," You killed me, Revan! You killed us all! We trusted you and you betrayed us! You deserve death!"_

_Hayley fell to the ground, the pain of guilt overwhelming her. A hand reached down and helped her up. It was Carth. He wiped the last of her tears away._

_"Revan, why did you betray us like this? I loved you...and you killed me!"_

_Hayley looked shock," No, Carth! I would never do anything to hurt you, I love you!"_

_"Then why did you kill me? Now we can never be together! That is what you wanted, right!" Carth screamed at her._

_" I love you, Carth! I would never do anything to seperate us! I would do anything for you!" Hayley said through grief and tears._

_Carth thought for a moment before answering," Wait! We can be together!" He drew out the Echani blade she had given to him," If you die, we can finally be together! Always! If you want to be with me...this is the only way!"_

_Hayley took the blade and looked at it. It shined faintly and felt ice cold to the touch. The blade felt so smooth in her hand...so right._

_"You could end all the pain now, Revan. All the suffering you have ever caused will end. Everything will go back to the way it was." Carth said," I can finally be with you." he smiled._

_"I understand. I love you, Carth. Now we'll finally be together." She angled the blade towards her heart._

_"Kill yoursef, Revan. Do it now!" Carth urged._

_A voice from nowhere said"don't die, if not for you...don't die for me."_

_"What are you waiting for? Hurry!" Carth yelled._

_"I love you, Beautiful. Let us help you, you can't fight this alone!"_

_"I-I can't." she moaned._

_"Why? You want to be with me right?"_

_"Yes, but..."_

_"Then surrender, Revan. Die...for you, for me, for the galaxy!"_

_Hayley grabbed the blade and lodged it into her chest. She surprisingly felt no pain...just silence. Then she was falling...falling...falling into the darkness. Into the deafening silence of the dark..._

**A/N: Sorry to leave you hanging! Another update coming soon! Please review! All is not what it seems...**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here is another chapter! YAY! Please review if you are even bothering to read this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.**

**Chapter 9**

Carth could feel her slipping away...she was giving up. Carth screamed for Jolee, as he rushed to inject another Kolto pouch into her arm. Jolee ran in and looked at the screen, he looked grim. He grabbed some life support packs and quickly injected her with them. Her life signs continued to drop.

" Carth, go find Juhani! Bring her here immediately!" Jolee yelled. Carth was reluctant to let go of Hayley's hand," What are you waiting for! Go!"

Carth let go of her hand and rushed to the starboard quarters. He ran smack into Juhani. Her tail hung low and her face was drooped with sadness.

" I know, I felt it through the Force. We don't have much time! Hurry!" They both rushed to the Medbay.

Juhani entered the room and immediately kneeled down. Carth returned to Hayley's side and gripped her hand. He closed his eyes. Jolee looked at both of them and then knelt down next to Juhani.

Juhani became one with the Force instantly. She looked around and could not find Hayley anywhere in it. The Force flowed through her as she continued her search. She had to find her.

Jolee tried to tap into Hayley's mind through the Force, but to no avail. It seemed that there was a barrier blocking his passage to her mind. Hayley's subconcious was taking control of her. Jolee focused harder and harder to enter her subconcious, but was continuely rejected. _She always was so stubborn_.

Carth sqeezed Hayley's hand. He wasn't going to let her go. As he closed his eyes, he suddenly saw frightening images. Many were of the Dark Lord Revan. Others were of destruction on worlds, and people screaming and dying. Then everything went dark...in the darkness he could make out a figure falling. Before he even thought it, he reached out and grabbed it's hand.

_The darkness was finally consuming her. She continued to fall...further...and further. Then out of nowhere a hand grabbed her own and she stopped falling. She stopped worrying...the pain altogether stopped. It was like light was bringing her back up. The light warmed her like being in the sun. It dryed her tears, and didn't let go. _

_She was finally brought out of the darkness, and found herself on the shore of Rakata. The sun warming her, the waves lapping up against the shore...it was all so...so peaceful. She fell asleep._

Jolee was jarred out of his thoughts by the sudden stop of the alarm. She had stablized! Juhani was already on her feet and examining the monitor as well. Jolee noticed Carth leaning beside Hayley, her hand wrapped by Carth's. His eyes were closed but his eyebrows showed deep determination.

"Juhani, does everything check out?" Jolee asked afraid of the answer.

"It's amazing! Her wounds are healing at an incredible pace...I don't know what you did, Jolee. But it sure did do the trick..." Juhani said amazed.

"I didn't do anything." They both looked at Carth." I've heard of rare instances where this happens, but I've never actually witnessed it." Jolee pushed Carth out of his unconcious state.

Carth rubbed his head gingerly. His eyes held dark shadows under them. He then realized where he was.

"Is she going to be alright?" Carth asked. He looked very tired.

"I don't know how you did it, my boy, but you saved her! She's going to be OK! She's not fighting the medicine anymore! Her wounds are healing, and everything is checking out good!" Jolee smiled.

"I did...I did what? I'm real tired all of a sudden." Carth was in shock.

Jolee escorted him back to his quarters and explained what had conspired.

"What did you see when your mind linked to hers?" Jolee questioned.

"At first I saw the Dark Lord, death, and desruction. Then there was literally nothing. It was dark and I couldn't see a thing. I kinda, just...felt her presence. I reached out to her and grabbed her hand. Then I started feeling real tired as I held onto her. That was about the time you woke me up." Carth said sleepily.

" What you did...saved her life. The darkness represented her giving up, letting go. When you grabbed her hand, she automatically drew strength from you. The connection that you two have was so strong that she didn't even think about what she was doing." Jolee explained.

"So she took some of my strength...because she loved me? Does that mean that we have a bond?" Carth asked hopefully.

"Perhaps...but it is rare indeed, to form such a bond. Especially if you aren't Force sensitive. Anyway, you should get some rest. What you just did took a tremendous toll on your body and mind. If you'll excuse me..." Jolee left the room to go check on Hayley's condition.

Carth sat alone in the port quarters. His mind was racing, trying to understand what exactly had just happened. The images would not fade from his mind. The images of death, destruction...Revan. _If this is what she sees when she falls asleep, it's no wonder she tosses and turns all night._

Hayley woke up and realized that it had all been just a dream._ Or a vision_. It was quiet in the Medbay, except for the soft beeping of the monitor that was attached to Hayley. She ached all over, and could barely breath. She could now use the Force to Heal herself. She calmed herself, and closed her eyes.

The Force wrapped her in a calming blanket of serenity and peace. Her wounds began to heal, and her breathing steadied. She was alive. There was one thing that she couldn't shake from her mind...the light. The light that had saved her, pulled her out from beneath the pull of darkness.

"Good to see you awake, Beautiful. I thought we were going to lose you there for a moment." Carth's gentle voice spoke to her as she struggled to sit up." Whoa, relax. You have just gone through some rough moments. Rest...I promise I won't let anything hurt you."

Hayley looked into his eyes. They held strength and love. Hayley used the Force to pull her hand up and brush the few strands of hair out of Carth's eyes. He smiled warmly. She tried to smile back, but was too weak to do it. Her hand fell back down to it's place beside her. She trusted him..._but can he trust me? I can't even trust myself._

"Jolee says that you're recovering at a remarkable speed, and that it shouldn't be too long until you'll be able to walk." Hayley nodded and then fell into a light sleep.

Carth remained with her for the rest of the night. He never once let go of her hand. She tossed and turned, as always. Then she laid still. A single tear fell from her eyes. Carth brushed it away gently. He tried to protect her, but how would he be able to protect her from something he couldn't fight? How would he be able to protect her from...herself?

The night seemed to go on forever. Silence filled the Medbay, except for quiet snores that came from Carth. He had fallen asleep holding her hand in a tender grasp. Sunshine radiated from several windows on the ship. The _Ebon Hawk_ silently landed on the sandy beach, on the Rakata planet. Birds quietly chirped, and fish silently swam in the cool water.

The door to the Medbay opened, and the light danced across Carth's face as he groaned and woke up. He stretched, and then looked towards the figure in the door. His eyes weren't adjusted to the light, so all he could make out was the outline of the person.

It was Jolee.

"Wake up, my boy, the council would like to have a word with you." Carth looked down at Hayley sleeping." Do not worry. She is going to be taken to the emergency Medlab here at the temple. They will be able to do far more there, than I can here. She's in good hands, Carth. The council's waiting, so get a move on, sonny!"

"Do you happen to know what the council wants, exactly? Because I'd really like to know if I'm gonna be thrown to the wolves..._before_ I actually am." Carth said as he got up. Hayley's grip tightened, she opened her eyes slightly.

"Where...are...you going?" She said in a strained voice.

"Shhh...I'll be right back. I promise." Carth said reasuringly.

"That...wasn't what...I asked." She smiled weakly.

"See, Jolee? I told you she would recover quickly. She's already arguing with me..." Carth said.

Hayley closed her eyes, and a cylinder fell off the shelf and hit Carth in the head. She again smiled with a sinister look.

"Ouch! Hey, why'd you do that...oh, I get it. Point made. I'm going to see the council..." Carth gave in.

Hayley opened her mouth to protest...but Carth left the room. _I wonder why he's going to the council? That's odd..._

"You want me to what!" Carth's voice boomed in the Council Hall.

"Commander, calm down! It is merely a request! We just wish that you would see some reason." Vandar's voice matched Carth's in volume.

"Like hell it is! You want to take me away from her, don't you? Why can't you just leave us alone?" Carth started to calm down.

"What we want is to make sure she has no _distractions_, at the moment. She has gone through a lot..." Vandar said calmly.

"We all have! Before I leave though, I have a question for you." Vandar nodded," You let her asscociate with the others frequently, but when I want to talk or be with her you never allow it. What do you hold against me?"

"Commander Onasi, you must understand that we harbor no feelings of resentment towards you...or your companions. It is just that she has such...emotions...whenever she is around you. You must also remember that she once was Revan...well, let's just say we don't wish to repeat the past. The more she is around you, the more emotions come with her. Revan is strong and determined, but she is also proud and brash. All we are asking is that you take a _break_, so to speak. Go back to the Military, they could really use the assistance of an excellent Republic officer, like yourself." Vandar explained.

"How do you think that Hayley is going to react to all this?" He said as he contemplated his next move. Talking to the council was a lot like playing chess...you have to be careful or they'll checkmate you.

"Revan will go along with our wishes once she sees what we are trying to accomplish." Vandar countered.

"And what, may I ask, are you trying to accomplish?" Carth questioned.

"Forgive us, but we must attend to other things at the moment." Vandar looked to the other members.

The other members nodded their agreement. Jolee stepped forward into the center of the room, and stood firmly next to Carth. His eyes held a fierce determination.

"The boy deserves an explanation! You should at least explain to him why you are doing what you are!" Carth looked bewildered.

"Master Bindo! You know we can not allow him to know what is happening! It will put him in danger, as it will Revan, as well!" Vrook almost screamed it at Jolee. The members started to leave...Jolee blocked their path.

"Is it in our power to deny him the truth? It is _his_ descision to want to know what is happening! If he asks, are we not able to give him a straight answer? The boy must know now...before it is too late." Jolee stood fast.

Vandar stepped between Vrook and Jolee. He raised his hand in a gesture to the center of the room. The members followed him back to their previous seats in the hall.

"Master Bindo is right. If the Commander wishes to know what is happening, and he knows the risks, we must comply with his wishes." He turned to Carth." Do you wish to know, Commander?"

"Yes I do, Masters." Carth said calmly.

"Very well..." Vrook began." Do you recall the time when you found out about the bond between Bastila and Revan?"

"Yes, the bond was formed when..." A look of comprehension dawned on Carth's face,"...when Bastila saved her life.

"Correct. We fear that a bond was formed between yourself and her when you somehow managed to save her life. This bond can be very lethal...to the both of you."

"How so?"

"If one of you feels pain, the other will feel it too. So if one falls to the darkside..."

"She won't fall." Carth said confidently.

"We weren't suggesting _she_ would be the one to fall. We were impying that _you_ might be the one to fall." Vandar said.

"I don't understand...I'm not even a Jedi." Carth stated.

"The bond that was created between you two has made you Force-sensitive, Commander. That is why we did not wish to tell you. We hoped that if you didn't know about it...it wouldn't affect your life. Now that you know, we aren't sure if we can safely ignore this dilemma. what we are trying to say, Commander, is that we would like you to be trained by one of the Masters."

Carth looked absolutely shocked. His jaw almost dropped to the floor. The news was startling, but somehow not unexpected. All of it would easily explain the reason she Called to him, the reason he had been able to save her...when others could not.

"I accept the offer, Masters." Carth said quietly.

"Good to hear. By doing so, though, you must resign as Commander. You must also tell no one about your Force-sensitivity. Not even Revan." Vandar concluded.

"Why? If she has this 'bond' like you said...why wouldn't she be able to tell that I'm _different_." Carth said.

"Because, Commander, she won't be around you much."Vandar finished.

**A/N: Surprise? Not really...no one can ever be happy...that is what I found out. But don't worry! It will all work out in the end...I hope. Do not forget to review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to JediRevanOnasi for telling me that I wasn't seperating sections! I had no idea it wasn't seperating and that it was a bit confusing to read! I really have been seperating them but the edit was screwing it up! So from now on I'll check to make sure that it is understandable! Thank you! Also thanks to LuvDelkospeed for continuing to read my fanfic!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.**

**Chapter 10**

The morning sun brought with it an exciting day. Hayley rolled around to face the sun that shined through the glass window. The warmth of the sun refreshed her as she carefully sat upright in her small bed. The room wasn't the most glamerous but it would be fine for what she wanted to do that day. She planned to practice some Jedi meditation routines that would allow her a quick recovery.

Hayley's feet lay suspended in midair as she prepared herself to get up. As long as she didn't do anything too stenuous, the doctors would allow it. The cold floor of the room sent chills through her. It felt good to stand on her own two feet. Step by step she walked over to the window. She unlocked it and let the calming breeze wash over her. The smell of salt water was overpowering...but comforting. For once in her life, all she had to think about was her welfare , and her health. Recovering and recouperating after her terrible torturing...was number one on her list. Worrying about Carth was number two.

His eyes had seemed so tired after she had woken up. He had seemed somewhat different...changed almost. Hayley knew not of what to think of it...Carth usually was so full of energy. It occurred to to her while she laid there thinking to herself...that something was definitely wrong...something had happened while she had been unconcious.

A hollow knock came from her bedroom door. She hurried to get dressed and then opened the door. Hayley smiled radiantly, as the blue Twi'lek rushed in and embraced her in a gentle hug. Her head-tails wrapping around Hayley.

"Mission! It's so good to finally see you again. Sorry about the trouble I got all of you guys in." Hayley said in a soft voice.

"Oh, it was nothing! Of course I did most of the saving and rescuing...and all that jazz." Mission and Hayley tilted their heads back to laugh.

"Good...I would hate it if I had made it any inconvience to you guys. But really, on a more serious note, I'm glad no one got hurt..." Hayley breathed a sigh of relief but stopped midway by the look in Mission's eyes.

"You mean you don't know?" Mission became very quiet.

"Know...know about what, Mission?" Hayley caught the fear and regret in Mission's voice.

"About...um, about Canderous..." Hayley froze with shear terror. Her heart began to race in an uncontrolable manner.

"Please no...don't tell me..." Mission nodded," No! Mission, don't...god no! Please, Mission...he can't be..." Hayley stumbled backwards as if hit by a physical blow. Tears streamed down her face as she sat on the creaky bed. She pounded herself in the leg several times, before Mission grabbed her arm." It was all my fault! Damn it, damn it, damn it! I should have died in that ship...you should have left me to die, Mission! Why, why, why? Why couldn't it have been me? Why Canderou..." Her weeping over over took her. Mission sat next to her in silence. What could she say?

"Shhhhhh...it's okay...he died like a true mandalorian. He wouldn't want you beating yourself up like this though...he'd would have much prefered himself doing the beating." Mission was trying to lighten up the mood, but it wasn't helping much...in fact the opposite...it was making it worse.

"Please...Mission...please can you leave for a little bit. I just need to be alone..." Hayley rolled over to her side, with one hand reached up and motioned for the window to close and the blinds to come down...they did so. She laid in the darkness once again...she had to make a descision...now and forever...

The hallway seemed so quiet...too quiet. Carth walked hastily down the corridor towards the barracks, and the medical facilities. The words of the council still hung around loosely in his head. How was he going to explain to her what he had to do and where he had to go without her thinking something was wrong? He knew she wouldn't find the prospect of being left alone too appealing.

His steps echoed through the tight, cramped spaces of the corridor. He ran his hand through his hair, it was a mess. He finally reached the last door in the hallway. Hayley's room...

_(After the Leviathan, before the Star Forge was desroyed)_

_"Go away." Hayley's tone was ice cold. Carth knocked on the door again, more roughly." Didn't you hear me? I said go away...leave me alone. _

_"Hayley...open up." Carth said softly._

_"No...Carth, I'm sorry, so sorry...just sorry..." Hayley seemed to be hysterical._

_"Listen, open up and we can talk." Carth pleaded._

_"Talk? You want to talk? After what I've done...you still just want to talk? After all the people that I've murdered...all the families I've destroyed...not to mention your own..." Hayley said harshly._

_"Yes...I just want to talk...open the door." The door opened by itself._

_Hayley was sitting in the middle of the room on the floor. Her lightsaber in front of her...she continued to stare at the floor. Carth walked in and closed the door behind him._

_"It's all my fault, Carth. I dragged all of you into this mess...this has to end." Carth looked confused. His blaster suddenly flew from his holster and into her hand. She held it firmly as she walked over to him. She placed the blaster in his hand and forced him to hold it to her head." Do it, Carth. Finish it...finish me. I'm not afraid of dying...not anymore. I deserve this more than anyone..."_

_"Hayley...I should be the one apologizing. Not you... there is no way you could have known that you are, were, the..." Carth's hand was unsteady...one move and he could accidently kill her._

_Hayley's eyes held a fierce unforgiving look," I AM the Dark Lord of the Sith, Carth! I always will be! Nothing either of us can do to stop it!" She lowered her gaze," Carth, please, I'm asking you as a friend...kill me. Give me the death that has long hounded me. We both know that I should have died on that ship. Carth-find Bastila and bring her back safely..."_

_Hayley closed her eyes and knelt on the ground, her head lowered. She still had control of Carth's hand. She eased her finger into the trigger and...click. Nothing. Nothing happened. Her eyes registered shock and anger...she stood up._

_"What did you do! Why...why...why...why..." Hayley beat at Carth's chest as he stood there, watching her. He pulled her close to him._

_"Hayley, I should have told you this before. I love you and I will love you, you as Hayley Jamira or Revan." She stopped her assault and went limp in his arms..._

_(Present day) _

The door slid opened to reveal one ticked off Hayley Jamira. She was dressed in her Jedi robes and her hair was put up in a small, tight bun. She pushed past Carth without even acknowledging that he was standing there. He grabbed her wrist, she didn't even turn around to face him.

Hayley lowered her voice,"You didn't tell me. It's been weeks...and you didn't find the time once to tell me that one of my closest friends _died_? How could you?"

"I...you were under a lot of stress already and I didn't think that telling you that Canderous..." Carth tried to come up with a logical understandable explanation. Why hadn't he told her?

"That's exactly the problem, Carth! You don't think! I have a right to know, you...you monkey-lizard!" She was no longer talking softly...she was yelling. She was also drawing quite a bit of attention to them.

"Whoa, now calm down, sister! Do you really think knowing what happened, would have helped you bring him back?" Carth regretted the words the moment they came out.

She stared at him coldly. Her eyes burning with rage." I thought you were my friend, Carth Onasi. I was wrong." She stormed off.

Carth stood there and watched her go. She was like a newborn kinrath, ready to strike at anything and everything that moved. Had it been so wrong not to tell her about Canderous? Would it have made a difference? _Not likely_. He silently answered his own question.

(Later that day)

" No more. I'm done." Hayley stood before the council with iron determination.

"Apprentice, what has happened to make you come to this drastic conclusion?" Master Vandar asked.

"Everything! I've had it with the Council, I've had it with all the training and the lectures...and the death. I've had it with everything! Also, you still call me an apprentice even after all that I've done! Well, no more! I'm through with it all! I didn't ask for this life...and I sure as hell didn't want it so...I'm leaving." She threw her lightsaber to the ground. She started to walk away but stopped midway," If the crew comes by...tell them goodbye for me."

The council stood there in shock. Hayley was too powerful to be alone without the guidance of the Jedi Council. Trouble would definetly arise if someone found out about her true identity outside of the safe walls of the enclave.

**A/N: the next couple of chapters are going to be pretty angsty...just to let you all know! Also if you all like Atton and exile conbination...I'm writing a fic about them too. It is called Love and Trust have Consequences...for those who want to read it! I appreciate all the reviews I have recieved so far!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! I kinda got sidetracked a little...anyway here is the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: i don't own star wars...wish I did...but I sadly don't.**

**Chapter 11**

Hayley stomped down the corridor toward the Hangar. It was only a matter of time before Carth or someone else came with their whole "I'm sorry" routine. Her hand was clenched tightly in a fist. She was going to go the one place no one would find her. The one place that she truly deserved. Korriban. She came to power there...she would end her life there.

The Hangar was bustling with activity as always. The consistent hum of hyperdrives, and the constant smell of oil hung in the air. She remembered times where she would come out here to think. It was strange, but she felt most comfortable when she thought in a clustered area...full of noise and brilliance.

She carefully slid between and behind large and small vehicles. She passed several Y-wings before finally reaching her ship. It was compact, but very manueverable. She had it custom designed to be an exact replica of the _Ebon Hawk_, only smaller. It was also a sleek black color...to match the stars. She slipped in through the cargo hold. Once inside she headed to the cockpit. Her head was still spinning from arguing with Carth and the Council. She was about to take a seat when she heard an all too familiar voice.

"Running away?" Carth turned his seat to face her.

"You shouldn't be here." She backed up. If she didn't leave soon, she would lose her nerve.

"Hayley...what's with you? What happened on the _Leviathan_? You seem different." He was stalling.

"They were right. Bastila was right. What she did...was right! Don't you understand, Carth! I'm just like them! I'll always be one of them! If you stick around me...you'll die. Everyone who is around me dies! I finally understand...I'll never be able to escape from who I am! We are who we are, Carth. No one can change it. You have to go, Carth, you have to leave. I won't drag you down with me. There has already been too many casualties due to my ignorance."

"Hayley, what are you talking about? You are who you choose to be! I can't let you..." Carth suddenly felt dizzy. He tried fighting the urge to fall asleep. The last thing he heard was " I'm sorry, Carth."

Hayley dragged Carth out of the ship and dropped him off behind some cargo cylinders. Then she started the ship and headed to her final destination. The destination that would finally be the end of Revan...

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The planet drew closer and closer. It's massive size increasing as she drew nearer. Korriban was a desolate planet to say the least. Habited only by Sith and people who don't want to be found...ever. Hayley could feel the power that swelled from the planet's core. The planet was born to the Darkside of the Force.

The ship's landing sequence activated and she landed in the small valley. Ominous statues towered menacingly over her and her ship. The sand blew around her, her footsteps appearing and disappearing as she made her way to the tomb of Naga Sadow. She had begun her dark path here, when she had found the final Star Map...the one that had eventually led her to her demise...her downfall.

The tomb was damp and dark...as it had been expected to be. Corpses were the only sign that it had ever been entered and explored. Among the dead were two Sith Masters. The two she had slain herself when she had attempted to find the Star Map. She had allowed her emotions to get the better of her. She could have spared one of them...she hadn't. Her choice virtually destroyed many lives. When she had gone back to the academy, Sith students awaited her at the door. They hadn't even a chance to draw their sabers before she had struck them down too. Once inside the academy, she had been attacked again and again as Sith students and guards tried to avenge their Master's deaths.

No one survived. She could still remember the shock on Carth's face, even though he had tried to hide it. The joy in HK-47's voice as he stared at the bloody corpses that lie all around him. Hayley winced at the memory...that was the price to pay when you murder millions for your own goals and ambitions. That was the price _she_ had to pay.

She reached the last room...the Star Map room. The room that had ultimately decided the fate of the Galaxy...her fate. Taking her own life didn't scare her as much as she had anticipated. The only thing that frightened her now was her friends. If her friends ever found out what truly had happened to her...they would be crushed. She could almost see the devastated look in Carth's eyes as he explained to them what had happened, Mission's tears flowing down her blue cheeks, Juhani and Jolee's disbelief in what Carth was saying. They would miss her...they would mourn for her...than they would move on. They would continue their life without her...the Galaxy would gradually return to the calm state it had been before she had destroyed it.

The room was still, quiet. She had been the last to walk this dreadful place. The rocks crumbled slightly as she walked past the ancient walls of the tomb. She knelt before the small obelisk that contained a single Sith lightsaber...

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"Sir? Sir...are you alright?" The voice woke Carth up from his cataconic state." What are you doing back there?"

Carth sat up and looked into the eyes of a young mechanic," I'm fine, thanks."

"Are you sure? You look kind of shaken...not that it's any of my business." He said trying to correct his rude outburst.

"Um...yeah, yeah I'm fine. If you'll excuse me..." The mechanic nodded and left.

Carth instantly remembered his conversation on the ship with Hayley. She was going to do something dangerous...he could feel it. She always took the blame for anything that went wrong. Carth stood up and nearly started sprinting towards the _Hawk_. He didn't have much time.

The controls fit smoothly in his hands. He was about to raise the ship when a hand gripped his shoulder. He turned to look at the familiar figure emerging from the shadows.

"We have felt a great disturbance in the Force." The air next to him shimmered and then Juhani was standing next to him. Her stealth emmiter was working perfectly.

"She's upset. I think it's partially my fault." Carth said.

"No, sonny. It's not your fault. Hayley never fully came to terms with her being Revan, but Revan is who she is. Revan will always be in her blood. This battle between the two will come to an end soon enough. We can not aid her in this struggle...this battle is hers alone." Jolee looked at Carth who just kept looking at the controls.

"I can help her, I know it. She needs me, Jolee. I saved her once, I can do it aga..." Carth was interrupted by Jolee's gravelly voice.

" No, Carth. Helping her will do no good...and saving her is worse. She doesn't want to be saved, Carth. This is her descision...if you want to go galabanding off to save her, be my guest. But remember, Carth. She has to fight her own battles, just as you did with your own...after Telos. Would it have helped having someone saying 'it's not your fault, it's not your fault' the whole time?" Carth shook his head reluctantly.

"That was different, Jolee. I wasn't considering suicide..." Carth said pathetically.

"Oh...you weren't? Well, that changes _everything_." Juhani cut in.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Carth objected.

"It means that just because the circumstances were slightly different...doesn't change the pain you both had to deal with. You lost your wife and son, and she lost herself." Juhani said philosophically.

"I don't care...I'm going after her. If you're not going to help me, than get the hell off my ship."

**A/N: Thabks to all those who are still reading this story and reviewing it! I love all the feedback...if any of you have any suggestions...they are always welcome!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry that I haven't updated recently...anyway here is the next chapter! I will probably be wrapping it up soon.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

**Chapter 12**

The lightsaber emitted a small dark aura. She could feel the dark power that it contained...even after all this time. She checked the chrystals, they were in perfect condition. Hayley removed one chrystal and replaced it with her personal chrystal. Now the lightsaber held one light, and one dark. She stood up, lightsaber in hand.

This was finally the end...after this...everything would return to normal in the universe. The glow of the saber cast faint shadows of red on the walls. A dark presence seemed to crawl at the shadows of the glow...drawing closer to Hayley. Closer...closer...closer...

Hayley's reflexes were quick, but not enough so that she could have defended herself from her attacker. The snap-hiss of a second lightsaber as it cut through the air toward her. It slit her wrist slightly, but Hayley was already turning and preparing to defend herself from the next blow. This enemy was fast...Hayley blocked the second blow as she backed slowly towards the wall adjacent to her. She didn't feel any other prescences, but she wouldn't risk getting hit in the back.

The two lightsabers continued to clash...as the battle raged on. Her opponent swung in a large ark, just giving her enough time to dodge and swing. She swung her saber downward, but not fast enough. The creature was already back on it's feet and blocking her blows. Suddenly it began unleashing a flurry of attacks. It's movements were fluid and almost graceful. It slashed again and again at her as she continued to back away from it.

Rocks tumbled behind her into the vast darkness that seemed to stretch for miles. Finally it hit her. It was trying to force her over the edge! The creature continued it's advancement; she lost her footing and tumbled over the edge. She reached out to the Force. Nothing! She continued to fall...

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"C'mon, Hayley. Where are you? Give me a sign or something!" Carth said to himself as he sat in the _Ebon Hawk_'s cockpit. A ship suddenly sped past him. It sure was in a hurry. Carth didn't have much jedi training but his gut told him to follow that ship. He activated his boosters and followed at long range to keep from being spotted.

There was something unusual about the ship. It was like nothing Carth had ever seen in his entire life. He followed it for several hours before reaching the ship's apparent destination...Korriban. The deserted planet grew larger as he approached. He preped his ship for landing. Dust exploded under his ship as it landed on the dead planet. He holstered his blasters as he silently slipped out of the ship and followed the strange being. Why would a being have any reason to go here in the first place?

The mysterious being waved his hand in front of the large Sith door, and it opened to it's will. Carth walked quietly behind the creature, careful not to be heard or seen. The creature seemed to be oblivious to everything around it as it stalked forward. It obviously had a target of some sort. Than he heard it...the hiss of a lightsaber being activated. It was one of the most beautiful sounds that he had ever heard. Too bad that the creature had heard it as well...it suddenly transformed itself into a larger creature, and started to climb the walls of the tomb. It's speed and agility was nothing like anything that Carth had ever seen before. He reached for his blasters, his hand rubbing up against the triggers...he wasn't going to be caught off guard this time.

Carth suddenly heard a muffled scream and he leaped into action. His mind racing faster than he could keep up with it. His blasters were out and he aimed them at the creature that was rapidly advancing on the slender figure. In all his training as a soldier, he had never come face to face with something like this. A soldier was suppose to get the details first, and than only fire if fired upon. In this case, it was shoot first, ask questions later...which is what he did. Lucky for him, the creature was too busy fighting to notice Carth. Carth fired two rounds, and that was all it took to take down the beast.

Then Carth ran over to the edge and lunged. Her small, delicate hand was wrapped by his large one, as he struggled to bring her up and not fall into the hole with her.

She looked into his eyes. He could see so many conflicting emotions. He was just so thankful to have her safe...

"Carth?" She whispered softly.

Carth was so relieved to hear her voice again. "It's me, Gorgeous. What were you thinking?"

"You don't understand..."

"You could have been killed! I was so worried." He scooped her up into his arms.

Hayley nestled against his chest. The fight had tired her out. "I'm so sorry, Carth, for everything."

"What do you mean? You haven't done anything wrong..." His voice was soft, soothing.

"I don't know what I was thinking...everything...bad...happened because of me. So many people died..." Hayley mumbled.

Carth remained silent. He didn't know what to say.

"I thought...that I could...take it all back. That if I was gone...everything would be a lot better..."

Carth looked at her unbelievably. He started walking back to the ship.

"Don't look at me like that, Flyboy."

"You were going to...why? So many people care about you...and you wanted to..." Carth took a deep breath.

"I am so sorry, Carth. You know how much I care about you and everyone else...but I was a risk. I still am a risk...to all of you."

"Is that what you think? That you are a risk so we are just going to dump you like extra cargo? I can't believe..."

"No! I knew you wouldn't...that is why I left. You would fight for me...and you would die for me. I could never live with myself if you or one of the crew..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I promised to protect you, don't you remember? Do you think I take that lightly?" Carth reached the _Ebon Hawk_ and accessed the doors.

"Of course I remember! Carth, you aren't listening..." Hayley knew she wasn't going to get anywhere with him. "I swear, you're as stubborn as a gamorrean pig slaver."

She said it softly...but Carth still heard. "I'm stubborn? Look who's talking!"

Hayley could feel some of her strength returning. She struggled out of Carth's arms. "Drop it, Onasi! I knew you wouldn't understand!"

"Then make me understand!" Carth matched her tone.

"Stop yelling at me, you brainless bantha!"

"I just saved your life and this is the thanks I get!"

"You want thanks! Fine! Thank you," Hayley's anger flared, " For saving me when I didn't want to be saved!"

"Well, you're welcome!" Carth yelled.

"Good!"

"Fine!"

Hayley stomped off to the starboard quarters, slamming the door behind her. Carth began to walk after her, but then changed his mind and went to the cockpit. Sometimes that woman could be so frustrating! Here he had just saved her life and she was yelling at him! Carth contemplated his next course of action...

"Dammit!" Carth said to himself as he walked off after Hayley.

**A/N: Please Review! I mean if you have read it...you mine as well review it. Thanks to those who have gotten to this chapter!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the following chapter! I know I enjoyed writing it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR or SW.**

**Chapter 13:**

"Stubborn oaf of a man..." Hayley grumbled to herself as she sat down roughly on the bed. Why had he come to save her? How had he known about where she would be? The Force sure had a crule sense of humor. All the times when she had a purpose and wanted to live people would be trying to kill her. Yet the only time where she wanted to die...she was saved.

There was a knock on the door. Hayley laid down on the bed and rolled to her other side. There was another knock, this time louder. Hayley grabbed a pillow and put it over her head, trying desperately to muffle the sound. The door slid open and Carth walked in. His footsteps were heavy...probably a sign of how tired he was. The man had been through so much and had seen more death than anyone ever had even wanted to.

"Hayley..." Carth began softly.

No answer.

"C'mon, beautiful. Don't be like that." Carth walked towards her.

Still no answer.

"I saved your life for Force sakes! What is wrong!" Carth's voice started to gradually get louder. Suddenly he ducked as a pillow narrowly missed his head.

"That's just it, Carth! I didn't want to be saved!" She yelled at him. Her eyes began to well with tears.

"What? I don't understand..." Carth started to say.

"How more plainly can I put it! I wanted to die!" She noticed Carth's shocked look. "Don't look at me like that! You have no clue what I want, do you?"

"I am trying to understand, Hayley..."

"You see? You don't understand! I am _not_ Hayley! I am _Revan_, Carth! Revan! Not some sweet and innocent woman trying to make a living in this messed up galaxy! I was once a Dark Lord of the _Sith_. Why don't you ever call me by my name...my real name!" Hayley yelled angrily at him. Another reason she wanted to die...look at the pain she was causing him. It killed her inside having to talk to him like this...but it had to be done.

"I didn't think that..." Carth began. His fists were clenched so tightly together that there was marks in his hands.

"No, you did think! You think that if you call me by my real name that I'm suddenly going to fall to the darkside and slaughter a bunch of innocent children and destroy families and whole planets! That's what you thought...hell, that is probably what you still think, isn't Carth? Isn't it!" Tears flowed down her cheeks.

"No...that isn't what I thought! I love you...why can't you just accept that? I love you...whether you are Revan or Hayley! You see? It doesn't matter what your name is or was. It doesn't matter what you did or are planning to do. I love you, the woman who is standing in front of me right now." He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into a strong embrace. "So tough luck, Gorgeous. Because now you're stuck with me."

"Love isn't strong enough, Carth. Love won't undue the mistakes I made." She whispered softly. Her voice was worn out. She was worn out.

"Love is, and always will be, strong enough." Carth kissed her passionately on the lips before she abruptly wriggled her way out of his firm grip.

"Carth...stop! Just stop!" She turned around and pulled her hands to her eyes for a moment before turning back around. "I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of living a lie. I'm tired of having everybody's problems on my shoulders."

"You can always lean on me. Why haven't you told me this before?" Carth stood where he was. He didn't want to provoke her into doing something drastic...again.

"I didn't want you to worry about me. You have enough trouble as Admiral of the whole Republic army..."

"About that..." Now was as good a time as any to tell her about his Force connection. The council never said that he couldn't talk to her about it.

The alarm on the ship sounded, alerting them to the fact that they were about to land on Coruscant. It was a good thing that Carth had brought T3 with him so that the little droid could help pilot the ship if he was busy. And this did, in fact, count as being busy. The planet became closer and closer.

"I'm going to have to go somewhere for a while..." Carth decided maybe it was better if she didn't know about the Force bond...it would probably just make her feel guilty about trying to kill herself...because there was a good chance that if she had died, he would have too.

"Where are you going?" Hayley's eyes were troubled.

"I just...uh, I have to go somewhere for a while..." He stuttered.

"We already established that, Onasi. Where specifically?"

"Back to the fleet. They need me for some important task to deal with some Sith interference that they seem to be running into." He said quickly. Carth had never been real good at lying...but he didn't think that she would know or care about him taking care of a simple task such as this, so perhaps she wouldn't pry.

"You're lying."

Sweat started to build around his neck. He just had to keep his calm. Fortunately for him, his training in the fleet allowed him to keep his facade. He restrained from tugging a his collar...it was certainly getting pretty hot in here.

"What makes you say that?" Carth countered.

"I don't know," Her features softened, "I just have this feeling that you're keeping something from me. That...and men are pretty easy to read."

"Oh really? Now look who's the paranoid one!" He smiled, "Don't worry, I'll be back in a couple of months..."

"You are having doubts about _us_, aren't you?"

Carth hadn't been ready for a question like this. "I..." he began awkwardly.

"I know you have. I have too...only I've been the only one strong enough to face it." Fear or shock, maybe both, registered on Carth's face. "The council spoke to me before I left..."

"What are you saying?" Carth barely got the words out.

"Carth-" She said softly.

"Don't you 'Carth' me. What do you mean, Hayley?" Carth stared at her fearfully.

"I love you...but I..." Pain enveloped the words that she had managed to get out.

"You what?" Carth's voice was strained. "Tell me."

"I can't be with you. Not now...maybe not ever. Especially under these circumstances." Tears began to well up in her eyes again but Carth failed to notice.

"_Circumstances_! Is that what you call what's happening? It doesn't matter that Canderous _died_ to save you...oh no! It is always about you, Hayley! Always! You claim that you have everyones problems on your shoulder...well I have _your_ problems on _my_ shoulders!" Carth yelled angrily.

"Carth, please don't make this any harder than it already is..." She pleaded quietly.

"You want me to leave?" Hayley stepped towards Carth in an attempt to calm him down. He stepped back. "Say it...say it and I'll leave." His features were strong. This man was no longer the Carth she knew and loved. He had changed..._she _had changed him.

The _Ebon Hawk_ shook as it landed in a hanger. Hayley looked at the ground. Her emotions were in a constant war; she finally came to one simple word. One simple word that would change their relationship forever.

"Leave." She forced the word out.

Carth froze. He showed no emotions. He merely turned...and left. He left her alone...alone in the small dark room. Now she was truly alone...all alone. Everything she had ever held dear was gone. She would never be able to hurt anyone again.

_This can't be happening...what have I done? I pushed away the only man that has ever loved me for being me. Force help me._ Hayley fell to her knees and wept. Everything was happening so fast...so uncontrollably. It was as if her life was in a downward spiral...and she was just along for the ride.

**A/N: Please review! It isn't too much to ask for a few encouraging words, is it?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I'd like to first say thanks to all my reviewers, especially Amme Moto due to the inspirational reviews I have been recieving from her! Thank you so much...I appreciate them so much and you inspired me to write so much more! This is going to be the last 'happy' chapter for a while so enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW.**

**Chapter 14**

Hayley sighed and rolled over onto her back. The bright light of the Coruscant city lights were less than a welcome scene. She didn't want to get up...she wanted to stay right where she was in her bed in her bedroom and forget everything that had occurred the night before. She couldn't forget though. She would be reminded of her descicion every time she woke up and didn't see Carth's warm smile. She rolled over again and moaned softly.

Sounds of the city could be heard all outside her bedroom window. Sounds of life, vibrant and living. She motioned for the blackout shades to drop down and they did so, casting an ominous darkness on the room. Hayley began crying softly. Why her? Out of every living sentient being...she was the one who had to be the one to suffer. She often thought about this...realizing that it wasn't the Jedi way to complain about her current situation. That the Jedi code states that there is no emotion, only peace.

"Screw the Jedi Code." She accidentaly said aloud. Finally she sat up and looked over to see T3 and HK in standby mode.

In an attempt to get out of bed she tripped on some sheets and went tumbling into the wall. She cursed loudly and the two droids woke up. She cursed again.

"Excited Greeting: Good morning, Master! It is good to see you are awake!" HK stated happily. That worried her for several reasons. The main one being that HK was usually only happy when eviscerating a target.

"Whatever." Hayley decided that maybe the theory about staying in bed might work after all and she crawled back into the covers.

"Query: Are you alright, Master?" HK asked.

"Go away. Leave me alone." Hayley mumbled from under the sheets.

HK turned to T3. "Angered Statement: Yes, small droid. Do leave the Master and I alone. You are such a bother sometimes."

T3 beeped somthing angrily and turned to Hayley, beeping something else.

"Will the both of you just go away? I don't want to talk to anybody." Hayley began to cry.

"Apologetic Statement: I am sorry, Master. I did not mean to cause you any amount of stress." HK said.

Hayley sighed. "It...it isn't you."

"Eager Query: This wouldn't have to do with a certain pilot meatbag, would it, Master? Becuause I would happily dispose of-"

"No, HK. Carth..." She winced painfully. Just the thought of Carth made her upset. She regretted the events that happened yesterday and last night.

"Statement: Oh yes, Master. I forgot to tell you that the Council called and asked for you to come see them immediately."

"Really? Surprise, surprise." She said sarcastically as she got dressed.

"Confused Query: Master, I woudl have thought that you wouldn't be surprised at all. Are you surprised, Master?" HK asked.

Hayley hooked her lightsaber on her belt. "I'll see you later, HK. Much later. Take care of T3 for me."

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"Padawan Jamira. It is good to see you again." Vandar greeted Hayley warmly.

"I wish I could say the same, but quite frankly the only thing that would make me happy at the moment is-" She bit her tongue. She would try and stay calm. This is the Council. They do deserve some degree of respect. "Forgive me, Masters."

"Is something wrong, Padawan?" Zhar asked politely.

_The next person who calls me a padawan is going to be lying in a pool of their own blood..._ "Of course, Masters."

"Have you forgotten that we can see right through you, Padawan?" Vrook said.

Hayley's hand rubbed up against the hilt of her lightsaber. _No, but I forgot how pompous and rude you are, Vrook. You just earned yourself two points. One for being your normal annoying self and two for...calling me padawan. Alright, I just gotta keep my calm. Say something nice. Say something nice._ "It's good to see you again too, Vrook."

Master Vrook rolled his eyes. "You do realize that you disobeyed the Council by leaving without permission?"

_And you do realize that you're digging yourself a deeper hole? If I fall to the darkside...you're gonna be the first to go. _"Yes."

"So you disobeyed us on purpose?" Vandar asked.

"Forgive me, Masters. I needed to clear up a few things." _Now I remember why I was gonna committ suicide. To get away from these morons._

"So it is alright for you to break a rule to do so?" Vrook stated.

_In later news, Master Vrook is brutally slaughtered by the former Dark Lord of the Sith._ Hayley grinned evily.

"You find this funny, Padawan?" Vrook yelled.

_Yes, yes I do._ "Not at all, Master."

"So what was so important that you had to disobey us?"

_It would seem that Hayley Jamira reverted back to Revan just in time to murder Master Vrook. According to reports, the Jedi at the temple are still trying to get the blood out of the floors._ Hayley couldn't contain herself and began to laugh sadistically.

"Are you paying attention?" Vrook asked angrily.

_Nope. _"Of course, Master. So if you just called me down here to tell me what a bad person I am can you get it over with...because I really don't have time for this..."

Vrook's face became red with anger. "You will stay and make time for this until we say otherwise!"

_Or I can kill you all and then go have a nice breakfast at the Diner. Hhmmm, I'm in the mood for something fried..._ "Yes Master."

Hayley looked at Vrook expectantly. Vrook turned to the rest of the Masters and they nodded. "Erm...you may be dismissed, Padawan."

"Yes Master." _Crud, I was so looking forward to spilling some blood too..._

**A/N: Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry for such a long update. I hope that you enjoy this chapter! Remember to review...it helps me become a better writer and that equals better chapters!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR.**

**Chapter 15**

Bastila cursed to herself as she saw the _Ebon Hawk_ enter hyperspace. They had gotten away...again. She was going to be immense trouble once Malak found out. That meant punishment, torture. She clenched her hands into fists as she thought about what awaited her once Malak came back. Then she noticed the body laying on the ground in front of her. Canderous' body.

Her lightsaber shrunk back into the hilt and she placed it in its appropriate place on her waist. Sweat dripped down her forehead as she leaned forward to examine the corpse. Or what she had _thought_ was a corpse. Canderous suddenly moaned slightly. Bastila gasped, this was definetly an unexpected turn of events. She had known the man was tough, but she had no idea he was this tough. Guilt threatened to enter her mind as she stared at the beaten man. Once an ally, and now an enemy. What was she to do with him? Kill him? Torture him? Could she really do that to a man which she had once secretly admired?

Bastila approached him warily. "More battles await you apparently, Canderous. You are the fool I always thought you were, aren't you? Why in the world would anyone sacrifice themselves to protect a murderer like Revan?"

Canderous remained silent and Bastla noticed, much to her enjoyment, Canderous reaching slowly for his weapon. She laughed dryly and stepped on his hand, nearly crushing it with all her weight. Canderous still remained silent, event though Bastila could sense he was in a great deal of pain.

"So you think you can protect her?" She pressed harder. "Think that you can defy the Sith? My dear Canderous...how very wrong you are. But that will be a lesson I will leave for my Master to teach you."

"Schutta." Canderous mumbled.

"Fool." Bastila spat venomously as she kicked him in the side and reached for her comlink.

To her surprise, Canderous lashed out and grabbed Bastila's ankle forcing her to the ground with a large thud. Bastila looked at him with an empty glare. She managed to free her leg and then grabbed his head and slammed it to the ground repetitively. Canderous screamed in pain each time, which only served to fuel Bastila's hatred and anger. Blood poured from the open wounds on Canderous' head. She could hear the crack of his skull meeting hard concrete each time.

"You know...I was thinking about killing you mercifully. But now I think I will just keep you alive so that I can torture you and show you first-hand how it would have felt to be a prisoner of the woman that you wish to protect...to be a prisoner of Revan. Fool..." And with that final note she walked away towards the bridge, leaving Canderous alone and in pain.

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"How could you have let them escape!" Malak yelled angrily.

"I'm sorry, Master. I tried to-" Malak brought his hand up and clenched it together. Bastila could feel her neck being restricted and she gasped for air, which was a futile attempt until Malak released her.

"I am sick of all your pathetic excuses, Apprentice! You are lucky that I am a merciful man, otherwise you would be dead along with all the others who have failed me." Malak paced slowly in front of Bastila.

"Forgive me, Master." Bastila said softly.

"Forgiveness?" Malak slapped Bastila across the face with enough force to send her to the ground. Then he ignited his lightsaber and approached her menacingly.

A thin line of blood appeared where Malak had struck her on the cheek. She wiped it away and then began to get up. Malak's lightsaber came down upon her shoulder roughly, sending her to the ground once again. This time Bastila screamed in pain. He had nearly cut her shoulder off. Bastila held her arm gently, trying to contain the pain and letting the Force wash through her.

Malak noticed her attempts to heal herself and he cast a Force Suppresion on her canceling her futile attempts. She winced in pain and nearly collapsed to the ground. Fotunately for her, Malak had finished his ruthless assault on the helpless woman. Bastila slumped against the wall as the pain finally overwhelmed her and she slipped into darkness.

"Consider yourself _forgiven_, Apprentice."

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Carth found himself at the local cantina. Alone, with the exception of five empty shot glasses in front of him. He had a horrific headache. He knew that it wasn't from the amount of alchohol that he had ingested, but he tried to force himself to believe that it was. That what gave him a headache wasn't rethinking the choices he had made within the past couple of days. It wasn't the constant worries about his relationship with Hayley. And it definitely wasn't the constant thought floating around in his head that he had blew the one chance that he had for happiness. Nope...his headache was due to the alchohol and that was that.

"Another shot of Alderaanian Ale, please." Carth said as the bartender passed.

"There you go, Sir. Hope you enjoy..." the bartender said, unaware that he just opened a can of spaceworms.

"What do you mean by 'enjoy'? You think I won't? You think just because I lost the only woman that I had ever loved once my life had crashed after the attack of Telos?" Carth began yelling.

"N-no, Sir. I merely-"

"You think that I can't enjoy anything in life just because I have no one left who loves me like I love them? Is that what you think? Because if that is the case, you are sadly mistaken. I can certainly be very happy without Hayley!_ Very_ happy! See! I'm extremely happy!" Carth rambled on, obviously drunk.

"Yes...you are, um, certainly..." the bartender looked for the word, "...happy."

"No I am not happy! Are you a complete moron! Do I look happy! I'm miserable...I can't think straight...and I have had one too many drinks." Carth slammed his fist on the table making the bartender scoot away.

"Sir, I believe that you shouldn't have anymore drinks...they're, um...not good for you." the bartender said calmly trying to think of a way to get this disturbed man out of the cantina.

"I believe you are quite right. Pour me another. Actually, two more...no five, yes five more drinks!" Carth had never been so drunk in his life, btu part of him just wanted to drown his sorrows, worries, and every other problem that he had in those drinks.

"Y-yes. Right away, Sir. If you'll be patient...I'll go get those-"

"What now! Just because I'm drunk doesn't mean that I'm not a patient man! I am one of the most-"

"Father?" Carth's words were cut off by a familer voice.

"Dustil? What are you...I thought you were..." Carth stuttered. He couldn't even form complete thoughts now. Perhaps it was time to stop drinking.

"Whoa, slow down, Father. Don't hurt youself." Dustil smiled.

"What are you doing here, Son?" Carth managed to say.

"I heard that you were on Telos and thought I'd visit you, considering that I was on a neighboring planet. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were at the cantina...harrassing a bartender, no doubt."

"Oh...um...about that..."

"No need to explain, Father. I heard the whole thing." Dustil took a seat close to Carth. "So Revan left you?"

"Hayley did not leave me...for your information..._I _left _her_." Carth said.

"Really, Father. I know you too well." Dustil lowered his voice. "I'm sorry. I know you really cared for her."

Carth nodded his head. "It's my fault. I should have been more understanding..."

"Father, we need to talk." Dustil's voice became more serious. "They sent me to find you."

"Who? What are you talking about? But you said that you were on a neighboring planet and-" Carth said utterly confused.

"I lied." Dustil flashed his lightsaber. "Don't make this difficult, Father."

"Who sent you, Dustil?" Carth's hand brushed the side of his hip. It was then that he noticed he had forgotten his blaster. He was weaponless.

"Who do you think, Father? Certainly not the Jedi, that leaves only one other option." Dusil smiled. "Now let's go."

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Carth said defiantly.

"Pity." Dustil injected Carth with a sleeping poison. "Good night, _Father_."

The other occupants of the cantina looked at him warily.

Dustil held up his lightsaber. "Jedi business...go back to your drinks."

**A/N: Surprised? Let me know what you think! Review...the button is just so close...(Force Persuade) You want to review.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Ok, I'm so so so so sorry for taking so long to update and this is a short chapter so I'm sorry for that too! Been busy buys busy with Lost Love II and Never Too Late For Redemption. Anyway, hope you enjoy and REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: George Lucas owns it all.**

**Chapter 16**

Hayley was bored. Actually, bored would be an understatement for how she was feeling right now. The Council didn't feel that it would be appropriate to have her going on missions or anything else for that matter, so here she was stuck meditating. _I don't even like meditating. The only purpose for it is to waste time...which is what I'm doing. Maybe I should go see-_

Her thoughts trailed off as she remembered that there was no Carth to see. There would be no Carth Onasi there smiling. There would be no more "Hey, beautiful" or "Hey, Gorgeous." It would forever be Revan. She would be alone with her past, pain, and thoughts. And for a woman like herself, being alone for long periods of time was not good.

One could think about one's past...or one's future. Hayley had no past...her past belonged to Revan. And now, after her recent conversation with Carth, she had no future that would be worth living. She had pushed away the one man that had ever loved her...for her. She had never had to pretend to be something she wasn't around Carth. She could be herself and she would be accepted. Hayley mentally slapped herself for being such an idiot.

Looking back, she realized just why she had pushed Carth away. She knew why she had forced him to leave her chained to the Jedi, and locked into her own solitude. It was because she was dangerous. One only had to look around to see how much damage she had done to the galaxy. It was sickening...and she had caused it herself. She had allowed herself to get caught up in the Mandalorian War...and now it had cost her everything.

Everything she had held dear...was gone. The Jedi held no truth, no purpose for her any longer...they were a mere distraction to keep her focused on them instead of on her own thoughts. _Not like it's helping much. Carth should have let me die on Korriban._ All thoughts continued to go back to Carth. She missed him...and she knew that he was probably missing her as well. But there was a difference between missing and needing.

The difference between needing someone and missing someone was a simple word: love. When you miss someone, you've been around them for a while and care for them...but not enough to stay, which leads to the missing feeling. You feel close to them and enjoy being near them, but occasionally need to be alone and seperated from them. Needing is a completely different concept.

When you need someone, you love them. Every waking moment, they occupy your thoughts and try as you might...you can't get them out of your head. When they aren't with or around you...you hunger for them; it's almost a panicked hungry feeling. It's almost like having your heart cut out and placed back in...it's the same heart and you need it...but you remember the pain when it was cut out. The biggest difference between needing someone and missing someone is when you need them...they are part of you and without them... you are lost.

Hayley _needed_ Carth. But she would not allow herself to have the pleasure of being in his presense. She was Revan, after all. She once held the galaxy by the throat and would most likely have let it choke to death, had Malak been a more loyal apprentice. _Malak_. His very name sent shivers up Hayley's spine. He was living proof showing how far she had fallen...and how much damage she had done to everyone around her.

Malak and her had been friends...maybe even a little more than that at one point. But she had destroyed him; she had led him down a path of darkness into a place of despair and emptiness. Malak had needed strength and guidance from her...something that she had recieved herself. She had failed him, herself, and every single other person in the galaxy. Why should she deserve happiness when she had destroyed so many other's happiness?

"Hayley?" A soft voice called from the doorway.

She merely nodded signaling for the young blue twi'lek to enter. She really didn't feel like talking at the moment, but she might as well...there really wasn't anything better to do and staying in her thoughts this long was bad for her mind and spirit.

"Hey...how's it going?" She said trying to strike up a friendly conversation.

Hayley turned and gave Mission a sarcastic smile. "Oh, everything is perfect. I couldn't ask for a better life...oh! Did I tell you I rejected Carth and sent him away so now I'm really alone and screwed! But yes...everything is just great."

"Wow...claws out today, aren't they, Rev?" Mission said with a sad smile. "Sorry 'bout Carth. I know you liked the old geezer."

Hayley laughed softly. "Yeah..."

"So I'm guessing he popped the question and you totally turned him down, huh?" Mission said nonchalantly.

Now the young twi'lek had the ex-Lord of the Sith's full attention. "What are you talking about?"

"You know...Carth asking you to marry him." She noticed Hayley's confused look and slowly frowned. "He...did ask you, right? Force, me and my big mouth!"

"Carth was...he was going to ask me..." Hayley slumped against a nearby chair. "I had no idea."

"Oops." Mission muttered. "I thought that was the reason he left...and you two went your seperate ways."

"Mission, I had no clue. I didn't even give him a chance to...force, what have I done?" She said dramatically as she grabbed her lightsaber and prepared to go find Carth and right everything that she had messed up.

Little did she know that there were forces at work that were beyond even her own control...

**A/N: Muahahaha...now you all are going to have to wait for another ridiculously long update! Ok, anyway, review please! Thanks!**


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